After i letout everything to harika i felt the pain in my heart ease.she also said me its not my fault,im not a reason what happens in the past.she said i deserves love.my innerside wants to believe that but my brain deny.i still cannot forgive my parents for what they've done to me.after all my father,if i would be in his position,i consider what would be the situation of my son before i trigger myself to death.
Suddenly i felt bad, still i wouldn't ask sorry to harika for hurt her with those words.i still felt guilty and shame.after she made me feel comfort with all the things i aint have the courage to talk to her.is this what called ego.ego? No, no there is no ego. If we feed our ego over our loved one it will destroy our relationship.
I let out a huge sigh,stand and dust off my pant.yeah im gonna apologize to her.i swear to myself this would never be repeated.i never hurt her hereafter no matter what.
She s busy collecting fruits for us.i went to her.it felt a bit akward still i need to do this.she s about to grab a fruit.i called her "h_harika".
She turned herself smile at me genuinely like she is happy to see me. Her smile gave a little confidence to step forward.like she forget something she push me and ran.she rushed to the shore side.i dont know what so i followed her.
She went straight into the fire where placed something its actually burning. She sat dissapointededly infront of that her hand placed on her forehead.
"Whats that?" I asked pointed to the black charcoal like thing.
"Mussels" she said with puppy eyes.
"Mussels! Where did you get those?" I asked curiously.
"Thats not matter now" she said smirked a bit.
"So you trying to cook for me?" I state cockyly.
" i think you like it" she said with a raised brow pointed to the no one know where the mussels are coz coal and mussels looks almost the same.
"Do you think im gonna risk myself with that bloody black thing" i asked sarcasticaly.
"I thought you like mussels"
"Yeah i love it..hmm i got it now, you're a serial killer,who kill everyone with passion that not even fbi can find a single clue about the murderer.now you trying to kill me with this burned,hard,poisonous mussels"i rapidly said everything in a fake serious tone.
She looks at me for a moment,then she organized my words in her mind and when she started laughing unstopably,clenched her tummy laughing for a brief moment.
This is what i want, her laughter can made my day, i want to be her reason for happiness.i smiled at myself,without knowing i get closer to her carries her cheek in between my hands, she stops laughing by my touch.her eyes locked with mine, her breath was heavy, and she s a bit suprised by my action.
"This is how i wants to see you,things makes me happy when i get know i make you smile.."i said she fixed her gaze to me i continue "you know you looks stunning when you smile,but looks complete horrible when you cry..." i felt ashamed for make her cry i tilts my head low "things getting worst and make me mad at myself when the truth is im the r_reason, for your tears.i dont deserves you forgiveness,those words cannot heal anything still im sorry hari for hurt you" i finish with guilt all over me.
