Random thoughts on random things

Reflection

Have you ever felt that feeling, that somehow, you are not that person other people see?
Well. I do. Sometimes when I look at the mirror, I feel disappointed. And I don't even know why. It's just that I feel there was something in me that the mirror can't really reflect. But this isn't about the physical aspects - I'll just clarify. I am a woman inside and out. 😅
Anyways, on the serious note, there were really moments that I can only see the bad side. The cracked one- flawed and ugly.
Then one day, I heard this story about the cracked jar. The story goes like this... There was a water bearer who carries two jars connected by a pole in that one jar is on each end of the pole. However, the jars werent the same. The one on the right side was beautiful, perfectly molded. While the other one was a cracked jar which spilled out the water each time. Everyday for almost 2 years, the man carried the two jars. And everyday, the cracked jar feels awful knowing that he only served half of his purpose because half of the water was spilled along the way. Until one day, the cracked jar, fed up, asked the man why? Why did he keep on using him when he was just spilling out half of the water? He felt like he wasnt helping the man at all. Then the man told him: "Haven't you noticed the flowers on your side of the road? They bloomed because of you. Everyday, the water that spills out of your cracks nourishes them." That's when the cracked jar realized one thing, that his flaws had a purpose, after all.
And then I also realized, I am the cracked jar. I was not perfect, and never will I be. I know when people sees me, they see me flawed. The mirror will even confirm it for me. But I decided, I wanted to try something new for myself. Something that I also want to share with you: When I look at myself, I wanted to see through those flaws, beyond the visible imperfections so I can finally say, yes, that woman is me. Cracked, but still valuable. Imperfect but fulfilled.
And, that's when my reflection show who I am inside.

*Written June 2016