Random thoughts on random things

"Jowable"

"Alam mo naman na gusto kita dati, diba?"
I was a bit surprised at his direct question but I managed to answer directly too.
"Oo."

I understand what he is pointing out. During the time when he still likes me, I could feel his intentions. I mean, he showed interest. Makes a conversation, and he checks in to ask random things from time to time. He would listen to what I say and remembers important things about me.

I know by asking that question, he wanted me to realize that I was worth those things. Those efforts. And that I still am.

He wanted me to realize that the way things are with my current "love life" is not the way I deserve.

Now I felt somewhat bad having to share with him the story on how I am currently frustrating over a guy who doesn't even show interest on me.

He reiterated from our earlier conversation: Tama naman sila, jowable ka. Deserve mo yung efforts ng lalaki para sayo.

Reflecting on those statements coming from him... I realized I am not being fair, not only to myself but also to him, as someone who actually tried to pursue me. As someone who was once willing to be silly just to make me happy. As someone who made time for me.

I should give him justice by choosing to fall in love with a person who could give me more than what he did, right?

I should not settle with a person who spares me a little of his time. Because once, there was a man who could offer me all of his.