Don't Do It

The Door

The door was left open. Now quiet and still without my little sweetheart behind it. This keeps reminding me what happened and what she was doing while I was being a bad parent. I always think it's my fault but when I look behind it I know it wasn't. 

The door always remained shut until this event. My beautiful daughter was always behind it listening to music and singing her little heart out, but I didn't even know what she was doing.

After she died I looked in her room and found a knife and a lighter. It know all made sense. She self harmed. The mysterious cuts on her arms and the blood I kept finding in the bathroom. I knew it but I was afraid to ask her about it. I could have helped. I'm a bad parent.

I always remember her smile. That always used to cheer me up. I knew I hadn't seen it in a while. 'What was wrong with her?' I loved her so much but I couldn't see the suffer and pain she was going through. This makes me feel like doing what she did. A quick slice with a knife will control my emotions.

The sight of seeing my daughter hanging there haunts me. I remember it as clear as day. The blood gushing out of her arms where she had been cutting and her neck snapped still tied on tightly to the rope is the picture I keep remembering. 

Now I can see why she did it. Its the most amazing sensation i have ever experienced. The problem is I didn't know it was addictive. The days turned into weeks and the weeks into mind and I just kept cutting. 

I got fed up of doing this after a while. It was just keeping me going. I decided enough was enough. I was ready to join my darling in the skies.

I was thinking to do it the way she did it but I couldn't. The sight of the door open gave me the idea. I then thought I'll just go for a walk and see what happens. 

My walk was great. Seeing the glistening stars and the beautiful skyline of city. Well it was going great until I saw a door half open. The memories of her started flooding back to me. I missed her so much. Now it was time for me to join her in the skies.

I started running towards a bridge. "My darling I coming !!!" I kept shouting. I ran as fast as I could. I couldn't deal with not seeing my precious anymore. I jumped...

I remember seeing flashing lights but that was the last thing I saw. My daughter told me I died in hospital. I tell her I don't care because I'm with her and I love her.

She always says the door was left open quiet and still. The hospital staff were rushing to get me into theatre, My family was crying, but I they weren't quick enough. It was over.