ɪɴɴɪᴛ | ᴍᴇᴍᴇᴜʟᴏᴜs

•°•5•°•

F/n = friends name
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The Sunday was not a good day. Bills came in, texts were received and the regret and sadness broke the dam I had built within me. Considering I had a good day Saturday, the downfall was karma really.

None of the texts I got were from the boys. They were from people blaming me for my friends death, saying that I was the reason the fire started and that I could've saved him. I couldn't by the way. Instead of letting them get to my head, I blocked the numbers like I should've done a long time ago.

The bills didn't stop coming though, and YouTube was screwing me over so I wasn't earning half as much as I would. Things weren't looking great without someone with me. I had lived in that flat for over a year or two so things were getting pretty dull. Dull as in, it wasn't exciting or welcoming anymore.

Weeks turned into months that passed and myself and the boys had gotten closer. I had also met their friends from school but I wasn't close with them, truth be told I didn't like them that much. Out of all the lads, I was closest to George and James, mainly because I hung out with them a lot.

As for my health, it was stable. I wasn't binge drinking anymore but I hadn't stopped entirely. But I started feeling down again as my deceased friend's birthday came around.

But there was one day that my happiness dropped. I was sat at my desk when my phone vibrated next to me. The caller read 'Mum'. Bracing myself on what she had to say to me this time, I answered and out in on speaker, placing my hands under my chin.

"Hello?" I said, waiting for her voice.

"Y/n! It's lovely to talk to you again! How are you?"

"Pretty good. I made some k
new friends and I really like them. I'm recovering quite well too, I've stopped binge drinking and cleaned out my flat. I fell out with my roommate though and then I started struggling financially, but with some help things are pretty stable now. F/n birthday was yesterday and I felt quite shitty, I placed the present on their grave-"

"Y/n, y/n, always missing f/n. They wouldn't be dead if you had done something. And if you weren't such a miserable person, you wouldn't have lost your friends-"

"You too? Why does everyone think I'm the reason why they're dead? Can't you people see! It was a fire! I wasn't allowed to go in, the firemen could've saved them-"

"Yes, y/n but the fire was caused by a curling wand-"

"I don't even use a curling wand! Beth uses them!"

"Don't blame Beth." At that point I sighed and gave in. We agreed to move the conversation on.

"I'm quite disappointed that you didn't wear a dress like everyone else though, y/n." Here we go again.

"Yeah, I know but I just don't look good in them, y'know? I'm just a little bit too broad in the shoulders."

"If you exercised more you-" at that point I'd had enough. Every conversation had fitness involved in it. And quite frankly I was tired of hearing it. It was all I heard growing up.

"Don't even finish it. I'm saying this for the final time. If you cannot get over yourself, don't even talk to me anymore. It's people like you I despise. Telling me how I should be. Stop comparing me to Cameron, Beth all them. I'll never be you and I'll never be what you want! Now, next time you call me, make sure you're calling because you care, not to lecture me. Goodbye." I raised my voice this time as I paced out the bedroom and into the living room, my phone firmly gripped in my hand as I yelled through it. I hung up and three the device into the sofa and screamed, letting my anger out. The relationship between my mother and I hadn't always been the best. She wanted me to be like her but I was more like my father personality and looks wise whereas my brother was more like my mother. Our world's always collided as I wanted blood, guts and strawberry cake whereas she wanted class, glamour and champagne. I had interests in dirt bikes instead of shopping.

The silence after the storm was interrupted when a knock at my door echoed. I pulled myself up and answered. George stood there looking a little worried.

"You alright, babes?" He nicknamed me babes, I had no idea why at that point but I liked it.

"Yeah, just arguing with my mum." I shrugged and smiled a bit. He bit his lip.

"Sure? I was walking by and heard you yelling and screaming. You wanna talk about it?" What would I do without this boy, honestly he was my diary. I let him in and I told him everything. He listened well, not saying anything but giving comforting smiles and back rubs.
He soon had to leave to go film with Will, so I thought I'd film my own video to get back on the grind and to earn my money again.

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Woah thanks for 6k on subscribe guys!
And woah thanks for almost 200 reads on this one!

I have the plot for this, it's just a case of slowly building up to it so sorry for any delayed chapters.

Love you all.