21 Guns

Chapter 4

I laid there shocked at what I had seen. My favourite band knew who I was. They saw my cover of their song. And they liked it. Would they recognize me when Dakota, Katie and I went to their show, or would they forget about me by then? What would it be like to hear them live? Would it help me move on from what had happened, or would it just trigger flashbacks? All these things swirled around my head without an end. I decided to check my Instagram in effort to distract myself from the thoughts, but it only made things worse. Every time I scrolled down, there was something about the shooting. I closed the app in frustration and settled for listening to some music. I put my usual playlist on and closed my eyes. I allowed myself to get lost in the music until I felt Katie squirming beside me.

I knew that her nightmare was beginning because she was muttering in her sleep. She flipped and flopped for a while before waking up gasping for air. She looked around the room and saw that she was safe and sound.

"Was it about the shooting?" I whispered. She nodded, and I saw that there were tears in her eyes. I put my arm around her gently and she leaned her head on my shoulder.

"We'll be alright. He can't hurt us anymore. Even if we see him every single night in our dreams... Well... Nightmares... he will never hurt us again. He's dead. He's gone from our lives." She said with a shaky voice. It was like she was in some sort of trance. I knew that we would never be the same after the events, but I didn't realize how much of an effect it would have on our everyday lives.

It was a few minutes later that Dakota began thrashing around too. I looked at Katie and she was closing her eyes tightly. Dakota woke up screaming her head off like I had. The screams turned into sobs before she realized that she was safe in the hospital room. It killed me to see my two best friends like this, it really did. When I volunteered to die, I thought that I was protecting them. While I succeeded in one way, I failed in a way that I had not anticipated. While I prevented them from being wounded physically, I was unable to do the same for them mentally. We all would be scarred for the rest of our lives, even though I was the only one who took bullets.

A nurse came running into the room, most likely because of Dakota's screams. It was the same nurse as the night before.

"Is everything alright in here?" She asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, sorry about the screams... I had a nightmare." Dakota said, looking over at the nurse. The nurse came over and looked at us more closely.

"You girls were at the school shooting, weren't you?" She asked piteously.  We all nodded, not quite knowing what to say.

"I know you've probably heard it already, but I'm so sorry about what happened... No one deserves to have to go through something like that, let alone young ladies like yourselves. Is there anything I can do for you?" She asked. Dakota seemed to reach her breaking point, and it scared the crap out of Katie and I. Dakota was usually level-headed and thought things through. She didn't want to hurt people's feelings and instead tried to make their days better. Today, on the other hand, all of that was gone.

"Yeah actually, there is. You can stop giving us your pity for one. I don't know about these two, but I sure don't want it. You can also move out of the way so that I can get out of this room for a while. Oh, and you can leave the room and do the job you're being paid to do." She spat, both her voice and eyes cold as ice. With that, she pushed past the nurse and took off down the hall. The nurse looked a bit hurt, but she did a good job of hiding it.

"Hey, I'm sorry about her... She isn't usually like that... Katie, would you do me a favour and go find her?" I said, worried about Dakota. Katie nodded and took off after her. The nurse was about to leave too but I stopped her.