Stargazing

Bloom

 Each time we saw each other it was like the first time all over again. Both as happy and as carefree as can be. Between the movie theater date, kissing in the rain, and our next date, we found out more and more intriguing things about one another.  I told him about some of the deeper, darker things that happened in my past, like certain unwanted sexual advances made on me by my previous boyfriend. I really let him in, and he knew all of me, even the parts I didn't want him to know. He was really a huge part of my life that I never intended on parting with. He gave me a whole new reason to live, and a whole new outlook on life, and love. 

March rolled around fast and the 24th came before we knew it. He picked me up from my house at around 5 o'clock, and we made our way to our date. We chose to go to Urth  Café in Los Angeles, which had quite overpriced food if I do say so myself. We arrived early, so we went to some sort of shop down the road from the restaurant and browsed, looking at all the overpriced goodies they had to offer. I was so nervous. Since we began our relationship I had written him letters, one a day or so, expressing how I felt for him. I wrote about wanting to be his forever, wanting to fall madly in love with him, and our future. I poured my heart and soul out to him, leaving me vulnerable and exposed to his criticism, and yet, he loved them.

During dinner, which we paired with Mango smoothies, my nerves were on high. Not only because I felt myself falling in love with him, and I didn't know quite how to express it to him, but because we discussed things of the intimate sort in the previous days, and we had agreed to act on our discussion, possibly on our date. And I was terrified.

Post dinner, we drove around, finally heading to our destination, a view looking over the city. Not our view, but one similar. We parked and just talked, both clearly nervous about what was going to happen next. I played our playlist over the speaker in his car, to somewhat calm the mood, and attempt to make us less nervous. We climbed over the seats of the van, where he had laid out a blanket for us to lay on. I laid down, waiting for him to make the first move, and he did. Slowly, he leaned down and kissed me. A slow, passionate kiss, and I loved it. My senses were driven insane. The feeling of his body pressed up against mine, begging to consume more was overwhelming. His heart raced as I slowly took off his shirt to feel his warm, pale skin. He removed mine, exposing my chest. For a quick moment he stared, then pulled me in close and kissed me again. He slowly inched his way down my body with his mouth, removed my pants and...

Now, as a disclaimer, no  we did not have sex this night. We simply, gave each other intimate gestures of our feelings for one another, and I'll be the first to say, I loved it. And him.

That night ended amazingly. But the car ride home was, interesting to say the least. 

"So," he started "I really like you, and I love being with you. But I don't know about the whole 'L' word yet."

Stunned, and quite embarrassed I replied, "Oh yeah. Me too, I know we just did 'stuff' but I just don't know yet either."

And we let the music take over.

Once we arrived back at my house, we had a few minutes to spare, so he had me read him the letter. I had a hard time, to say the least, being choked up by tears every other line. He was crying too, happy crying, which made me smile.

"I'm gonna say something," he said "...I love you."

My eyed welled up with tears, "I love you too."

We kissed. And in that moment I knew, I bloomed for him. And him for me.