Back Again//// Ryden **Completed**

It'll Be Okay

Brendon's POV. 

I lay with Ryan in the dark. The fear, simply the nightmares are enough to hurt him, enough to scar him, that scares me. How far will this "nightmare" go? It has the potential to drive him insane. I can't imagine him, unable to think clearly, because fear haunts him. 

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear light snores. I stare at him. Everyone seems calm and innocent while sleeping. But he doesn't- not anymore. Something about him- something changed. It's like he has non-stop nightmares and can't get a break. Not even while sleeping. It looks like he's in pain. I get up and walk to the door. I turn back again and stare for a few seconds before walking out and closing the door. 

I walk to the couch- that's right, I don't go to my room. I sit down and grab my phone. I see 5 unread messages. 

Spencer: Everything okay? Just checking in.

Spencer: Hey, you there? 

Spencer: I'll assume you went to sleep, but I'm coming over in the morning.

Brendon: Okay

Sarah: Court, tomorrow, 5. 

Sarah: Honestly, I'm happy for you. You can go date other girls and stuff. I hope we stay in touch.

Brendon: I'll be there. 

Brendon: Do you not watch the news? 

 I click my phone off and set it on the coffee table. I haven't slept in days. Too worried about everything, worried about Ryan especially. 

~~~~~~~~

Flashback

"Bren?" Ryan opens the door and sits next to me on the bed. I look up from my notebook. 
"You writing?" He asks. I nod. 

"I was too." He says. He hands me his notebook. I skim it quickly. 

"That Green Gentleman?" I say, looking at the title. He nods. Then he takes the notebook and walks out to the balcony, I follow him. He takes a seat, so do I. 

"I've always loved looking up at the stars and moon. Wish it never went down so I could just stare at it all day." I say, looking up.

"Hey moon, don't you go down, Brendon wants to stare at you all the time." He says as if commanding the moon. He smiles and laughs.

"Hey moon, please forget to fall down," I add on, trying to sound polite. 
"I'd switch that." He says, he grabs his pen and starts writing. "Here." He hands me the notebook again. 

 Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down  

I smile and grab my pen. 

If all our life is but a dream
Fantastic posing greed
Then we should feed our jewelry to the sea  

He takes the notebook and adds something. 

For diamonds do appear to be
Just like broken glass to me  

"This is beautiful."

"I dedicate it to you." He says. 

He leans forward and we share a kiss- which becomes passionate really quickly. Before I know it, I'm against the door, his hands wrapped around my waist. I struggle to open the door, then we walk in. We break the kiss for a second so he can close the doors. Then he comes back. This time I push my lips against his. We go to the bed and he kneels over me. He straddles my thighs. Leaning down, he sucks on my neck until I let out a loud moan. He found my sweet spot. I wrap my legs around his body. He keeps one arm around my waist and one on the bed so he doesn't fall over. Then he stops. He sits up and so do I. Then I feel him wrap his arms around my shoulders. 

"I know the world's a broken bone. But melt your headaches, call it home."  He whispers.

End of Flashback

~~~~~~~

I but have blanked out because I hear Ryan shuffling around in bed. I look at the clock and see it's only 6. Usually, Ryan wakes at 7. 

"Good morning." I say, walking in. He smiles, he's sitting up. I carry him into his wheelchair and I help push him to the kitchen. 

I make coffee while he eats some cereal. "Did you sleep?" I ask. 

"You sound like... Well, my dad, I guess...." 

Right, he didn't grow up with his mom, and his dad never cared about him. 

"Yeah, I did... sort of." He mumbles. 
"It's yes or no, Ryan."

"No?" I slept for like 10 minutes. I groan and set the coffee in from of him. 

"Seriously? You need to sleep."
"So do you." He says. 

Then I hear the doorbell ring. Ryan flinches. He stares at the door. 

"Ryan?" He starts shaking. "Ryan! Calm down." I run next to him. 
"This is what happened the last t-time." He says, not looking away from the door. 

"Ryan, it's Spencer." I say walking to the door. I open it slowly to reveal a happy looking Spencer. 

"Great! You actually opened the door this time!" He chuckles, then he faces Ryan, who is on the verge of tears, and is still shaking. "Oh god, Ryan, I'm sorry, I forgot about- ya know- doorbell." Ryan nods and comes out of the kitchen. 

"Have f-fun." He stutters before wheeling back to his room. 

~~~

"Is he okay?" 
"Would you?" I say, handing him some water. 
"You signing today?" He asks, I nod. 
"Sarah wants to stay in touch though, and I kinda want to, she'd be a nice friend." 
"True. Well, you do you." He shrugs. 

"Ryan just- he just seems so... Emotionally broken, and I understand that but, it's like deeper than that. I'm not sure if he will get better." 

"I know, it's hard now, but he will, he has the best boyfriend anyone can have." He lightly punches my shoulder. "We could go out after signing." He suggests. I shrug and nod. 

~~~

"Ryan." I lightly knock on his door. I hear wheels come closer, then the door swings open. "You wanna go out tonight?" 

"U-Uh.." He looks at Spencer. "M-Maybe." He says, then he tries to shut the door. I stick my foot out to stop the door. 

I hear the front door close. "Ryan? It's okay now." I say.

"Bren, please I can't go out." 
"Okay, I understand. Don't worry." I rub his back. "It's going to be okay," I whisper.
"NO, IT WON'T!" He screams and wheels away. 

"Ryan! What's wrong-"

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?" He shouts. "YOU DON'T KNOW?" Tears roll down his face. "I can't pretend everything is fine." He whispers. 

"Ryan, calm down-"

"NO, STOP, EVERYONE JUST STOP. HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?" He screams. He tries to get out of the room but he ends up hitting the edge and falling. 

"Ryan!" I run to him. I wrap my arms around him. "It's going to get better, I promise." 
"No, it won't." He says. I carry him and help him into the wheelchair.

"Whatever happens, I'll be right here, every step of the way," I whisper into his ear. I wrap my arms around him. He tenses up at first, then relaxes. 

"I'm going to sign today, will you be okay by yourself?" 

"Y-yeah." He stutters. His eyes- filled with pure fear. He can't keep going like this.