unexpected love. Taylor Caniff

ch 30

chapter 30:
I woke up with a massive headache, amazing. memories of last night rushed through my mind. did I really see taylor making out with some whore? & Chloe... caught me making out with her boyfriend. lovely encounter. but the thought that wouldn't leave my mind was Luke's voice. "I'm afraid something's wrong."
something's wrong? what could possibly be more wrong in my life right now. I'm a complete mess. I overthink & when I overthink I become frustrated & when I get frustrated, I just want to leave this world.
no Abbey, you haven't had those thoughts since, Ryan... I quickly pushed the evil thoughts out of my clustered mind & sat up. I looked around & realized I was in an unfamiliar environment. I looked down & saw that I was in just an oversized t shirt.
I thought for a second until I remembered I was at Luke's house. I got up & put my hair in a messy bun before walking out of the bedroom.
Luke was passed out on the couch, he looked rather uncomfortable so I kinda felt bad, I mean I slept in his bed... while he slept on the couch... "Luke, go sleep in your bed." I said softly.
his eyes fluttered open and he pulled me down to lay next to him. "morning love." he said in a cute morning voice.
"hi." I replied as I rested my head on his bare chest.
"you feeling better?" he asked.
"I guess." I replied.
"good. you're spending the day with me, clearing your mind."
"okay."
after a few minutes of lying on the couch watching tv in each other's arms, the door opened revealing a tall man who looked somewhat familiar.
"hey mate." he said in a thick Australian accent.
"hey ash." Luke replied.
"oh, hey Abbey.." he said and I waved.
"we have sound check later." he informed Luke.
"do you mind coming & watching? it'll only be for like 45 minutes." Luke asked me.
"yeah, of course." I replied.
"fantastic, I'm going to go get ready." Luke got up and went to the bathroom.
I went into the kitchen & made some coffee as I sat down on my phone. tons of messages from Matt asking if I was okay or where I went. I decided to call him.
"Abbey! hey, are you okay?" he asked quickly.
"yeah hey Matt." I replied.
"where are you?" he said.
"Luke's."
he let out a sigh of relief. "okay, good. want me to pick you up?"
"actually I'm going to spend the day with Luke."
"alright, have fun see ya later ab." he said.
"bye Matty." I said before hanging up.
minutes later Luke came out dressed. "I have no clothes here, Luke."
"ah. and your house is far... let's go buy more."
"um okay?" I giggled. I brushed my teeth & put my hair in a messy bun. I put my skirt & shirt on & we left. we went to forever 21 where Luke bought me an outfit, a floral skater skirt & a black crop top. I changed out of my dirty clothes & we went to Luke's soundcheck.
I've never really met any of the 5 seconds of summer boys, besides my little encounter with Ashton, but I knew about them. they were crazy famous, I was beyond proud of Luke. I sat there as they sang "Try Hard" they were all amazing. & Luke looked extremely hot while he sang might I say...
during the song I was completely mesmerized. no thoughts of taylor were in my mind.
oh wait, they're back.
I listened to the lyrics of the song. "it makes me feel like i try too hard."
I try to hard.
I try to hard to get Taylor's love. to get his attention.
I need to stop trying. it's been 4 months. 4 months since we stopped talking. you'd think he'd at least call to see his daughter, but nope. 4 months without any contact & inside, I was dying. it was eating me alive the fact that I was going around with Matt while the thought of taylor was deep in my mind.
I need to stop.
I need to talk all those thoughts, and empty them.
I'll just have to take them away, I have to kill them.
they're better off not there, not in this world where they bother people.
I'm better off just gone.