ghost → jensoo.

15 | crushes.

JENNIE had been hanging out with chaeyoung and lisa for a while now. they were probably one of the most chill and nice girls at her school where every person you walked by was probably a bitchy, back-biting snake. they were fun to be around to say the least. their company made her forget about the whole incident with jisoo.

jennie and jisoo decided to put all their feelings on a hold and focus on what was more important - finding Jisoo's killer. they also decided not to meet each other unless they needed to discuss about something important.

it had been two days since they last saw each other. jennie missed jisoo. whenever she wasn't around it felt like something was not right. as cliché and cheesy as it sounds, jennie felt incomplete.

the sky was painted a gloomy shade of gray. the clouds looked rather dark as they dragged sluggishly across the sky. maybe it was going to rain. the weather outside perfectly depicted jennie's emotions.

the trio were at a small cafe. it was one of jennie's favourites, the warm scent of coffee and the cozy atmosphere of the shop made her melt. she usually came here to relieve herself from stress. no better stress reliever than a good book and a cup of hot chocolate.

lisa and chaeyoung were goofing around like they usually did which got a laugh from jennie. she was glad to have found these two because without them she would probably be a just a lonely nerd (not that there was nothing wrong with being a nerd. jennie always thought nerds were awesome) being picked on by bullies.

sometimes she hated herself for being so dependent on others, the fact that she could almost never stand up for herself made her ashamed. she blamed her anxiety and low self confidence for all of it. it was like a monster always following her, haunting her. the worst was that she didn't try to improve. everytime she got a chance to be a better person, she crawled right back to her insecurities. she hated herself so much for that.

"so let's talk about crushes." chaeyoung clapped her hands together and jennie inwardly groaned.

"okay so everyone knows who my crush is i'm not even gonna get started on him because then we will be here till night time." lisa sighed dreamily and looked out the window as if he was actually standing there.

"but jennie doesn't know him yet." chaeyoung playfully nudged her.

"oh wait. sorry i forgot that I never told you about him." lisa turned to her.

"well he's park junhyuk, captain of the school's basketball team." lisa said.

"oh. i think i've heard about him." jennie said. she had probably seen him around too but she didn't really know the names of people at her school. she was still pretty new.

"she's been crushing on him for over a year now." chaeyoung chuckled.

the bell attached to the door of the coffee shop chimed and a couple walked in. they were two girls around jennie's age holding hands. jennie smiled seeing the couple.

"oh god." lisa frowned at the couple. "gays."

"what's wrong with them?" jennie asked sensing lisa's disgust.

"they're unnatural. i don't have anything against them but it's just freaky to see people like them." lisa replied.

"exactly." chaeyoung nodded in agreement. "why are you frowning jennie? are you gay too?"

jennie felt her heart drop to her stomach. she was clenching her fist so tight that her knuckles turned white. she bit her lips hard. a flame of anger lit inside her but she didn't want to lose control over her feelings. not here. not now.

"oh my god jennie! you look as if you've seen a ghost." chaeyoung laughed. "don't worry. i'm just kidding and not accusing you of being a lesbian."

jennie felt relieved and laughed along with them even though the joke was anything but funny. her sexuality had been another big insecutrity of hers. she wasn't ashamed of it but she was scared to openly be proud of who she was. she wanted to scream on top of her lungs and say that she was a lesbian and she was proud of it. she wasn't unnatural or a freak. she was perfectly normal like the rest of them.

but jennie was still very closeted. nobody knew her true sexuality except for her cousin, nayeon who she was very close to and jisoo.

she was uneasy throughout the rest of the day she spent with the girls. maybe they weren't as peefect as she thought.

everybody had their flaws.

and their's was their narrow mind.

jennie walked home in the afternoon, tired from all the day of shopping and talking about boys. her feet dragged her along the road. it was afternoon and the sun was still hidden behind the clouds.

pit pat. the first drop of rain fell. jennie hurriedly opened her umbrella to save her from getting wet. in a few seconds, it was showering heavily and jennie's shoes were already wet. she cursed the rain for it's bad timing and proceeded on her way home.

she passed by the cemetry. it was completely deserted except for one person standing inside. it was a guy and the pouring rain didn't seem to bother him. he stood looking down at a gravestone. jennie was too far to be able to make out his face or his expressions.

but she did notice one thing. the gravestone he was looking at belonged to jisoo.
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this book now has a playlist that you can listen to while reading it! check out chapter 00.