Somebody to You

Chapter 13

I woke up to a pounding feeling within my head. My body automatically flinched away from the sun pouring in though my window. I groaned as I turned my body to look at the time on the clock. Surprise crept its way into my body as I saw an apple sitting on a piece of paper blocking the view of my clock. I rose from my bed holding my head in my hands. Confusion then made its way into my mind, as I realized where I was. How did I end up in my bed? I felt the strain in my eyes from the tears of last night, letting me know it wasn't all a dream. It's 10:00am.

I turned, and I grabbed the note from my nightstand. 

Meet me for breakfast whenever you wake up. I'll be waiting.

~Xander

Nerves kept up my spine as I read the note once again. Why did he want to see me? Was this about last night? I wonder if my father knows? What should I wear? 

Trying to shake the thoughts from my head I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were stained from the tears, and I had dark circles under my eyes. I put on some concealer, mascara, and I brushed my hair. I went to my room put on a pair of jean shorts and a random t-shirt. I was too tired, and my head was getting worse so I was hoping this was just some more stupid wedding arrangements. 

Refusing to look at myself in the mirror again I turned and I made my way to the kitchen. It had to just be more wedding stuff right? He's never actually wanted to spend time with me on his own. After what he told me last night it was clear there was nothing to discuss anyway. Apparently he already knows the truth right? I torture myself on purpose. I don't think I had ever considered that. If someone found out, they wouldn't believe me. It all my fault. In a way he's not wrong. I deserve it all anyway.

Surprise fills me as I walk into the kitchen. Xander is the only one there. He's sitting at the counter table looking at his laptop. Sitting next to him is a plate of food, and the sight of it makes my mouth start drooling. Pancakes stacked with whipped cream and strawberries. Heaven.

I clear my throat to get Xanders attention. He turns in his seat to look at me. I watch as his eyes scan over my body like they did last night. A frown of disapproval covers his face, and I have to fight the urge to run upstairs and lock my door behind me. 

"Good morning Xander." I say in barley a whisper. 

"Morning" .

"What is it that you needed?" I asked feeling myself start to fidget. He continues to stare at me, and it starting to make me uncomfortable. 

"Eat breakfast with me." he states simply turning back to his computer. 

"But there's only one plate."

"I know, now sit and eat."

Tired of fighting I slowly make my way towards him, and sit down in the stool next to him. 

"Are you going to eat?" I ask still in a whispered voice.

"I already did. Eat."

I turn away from him and look down at the delicious food in front of me. I don't remember the last time I ate an actual breakfast. I response I hear a loud growl come from my stomach. Before I can control myself I grab a fork and dig in. The second the food hits my tongue I almost burst out in tears. The food is glorious. Before I know it the food is gone, and I'm licking my plate clean of any scraps. 

Then I hear a throat clearing next to me. I instantly freeze and slowly put down the plate. Embarrassment covers my face as I realized what I had done for the second time in front of Xander. I slowly turn my face towards him ,only to see he is already looking at me. Confusion is written in his eyes, and I feel myself blush even more.

"It was delicious." I say so quietly I doubt he heard me. 

He continues to only stare at me. 

"Can we talk about last night?" he asked suddenly

Shock instantly fills me along with a strike of fear. 

"What about last night?" I ask faking innocence.

"Ali" Xander growls causing me to meet his eyes.

"What is there to talk about?" I finally ask.

"You have to eat Ali you're obviously starving. You ate those pancakes in under a minute. You need help."

"Excuse me?" I lash out feeling the anger rise in my chest.

"Look at you Ali, you're so thin you look like a twig. When I had found you last night, you had puked up all the food you had just ate. Just admit that you have a problem. I can help you." He says with concern clouding his eyes.

I stand from my chair, and feel the sudden movement go to my head. I put my hand on the table to gather my balance. I feel my breakfast coming up again. I had eaten way too fast for my body to adjust. The next thing I know I am running to the sink, and all of my breakfast is now in the sink. I feel Xander behind me pulling my hair from my face. He's whispering sounds in my ear to calm me down. After I've wash my hands I turn from and take a few steps back.

"Where is my father." I say suddenly realizing I haven't seen him. He would not approve of this

Confusion finds it's way to Xander again as he replies "Him and my father are gone for the day on a business trip. I stayed behind to make sure you were okay."

"Did you tell him that?"

"I said you weren't feeling well when we spoke last night."

"Oh" I say with relief flooding my body.

"Ali" Xander says with a softness in his voice I rarely ever heard.

"I don't have a problem. I'm fine."

"Then what is the issue." He says with a little irritation in his voice.

I look at him now. I think I'm starting to hate him like this. I prefer the mean cold shoulder. Because when his eyes are looking at me like that. Concern and frustration. All for me. It makes me want to break down and ask him to hold me while I tell him everything. I can't though. So I think it's better when he hates me. I can handle hate. The way he's looking at me, I can't handle. that.

"Nothing" I say clearing my face of any emotion. 

Before I know it Xander grabs me and pins me against the counter. Deja vu of last night floods my mind. The anger is there again in his movements, but his eyes show something different. I sadness so deep I feel it cut my bones.

"Did my father ever tell you what happened to my mom?" I hear myself whisper to him. Shock rack my body at what I feel myself wanting to confess. I think its his eyes though. His sadness is a mirror of my own. Suddenly the words com without waiting for a response.

"It was late. I was sneaking into the house from a party I had just gone to. I wasn't to supposed to go. I had snuck out. I was wasted as I walked through the door, and wasn't't paying attention to what I was doing. I forgot to put on the alarm when I had walked in. I stumbled back to my room and pasted out without a thought. I woke up to screaming a few hours later. When I ran downstairs all I saw as red. Blood was everywhere." I felt myself shiver at the memory I had long ago put away. "My little brother had gone down to get some water, and my mom had heard the struggle. By the time she got there he was already dead, and he went after her next. By the time I got down stairs he had already ran away taking as much as he could. It was fast. A shot straight through the head for both of them."

After I had finished I couldn't look him in the eye. Shame covered my body entirely. I felt him shift and he lifted my head towards him until I look ed him. I had never felt so vulnerable. Xander leaned down, and placed a kiss on my cheek. 

"It's okay." he whispered in my ear before standing and walking away.