Once in a Lifetime

Letting Him In

I was still crying, feeling horrible for the way I talked to Jimmy on the phone, and still feeling overwhelmed from all the memories and emotions that had come to the surface of my mind and heart. My face was buried into my knees, as I was really trying to hide from the world.

Someone took a seat next to me, so I lifted my head and looked over, shocked to see Jimmy sitting next to me. His eyes were shining, tears falling down his face as he looked over at me.

I was getting ready to ask how he found me when he started talking. "I want you to know something, Karen from Michigan. I want you to know that I don't care what others say. To me, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Your genuineness, kindness, and life experiences have made you such a beautiful person inside and out. I don't care what those supposed fans said, to me you're not fat and your definitely not ugly. I don't know who in their right mind would tell you some crap like that."

While Jimmy was speaking, I buried my face again into my knees, not wanting him to see me crying again. I couldn't believe he actually thought I was beautiful. His hand had made its way to my knee while he was talking. He nudged me a little, causing me to lift my tear stained face to look at him. He cupped my face in his hands before he finished. "I want you to know that I will never tell you anything like that. Whoever told you that stuff is a jerk. I want to get to know you better, Karen from Michigan. Please, let me in to your life. I want to be here," he placed a hand on my heart, "forever. Please?"

His eyes were still brimming with tears as he begged me to let him in to my heart. The tears were falling fast down my face, his genuineness touching me to my core.

"Why?"

He looked a little surprised at my question. "Why what?"

I took a deep breath, my pain-filled eyes never leaving his. "Why do you want in my heart? I have so much damage and baggage. You're such a happy person and I don't want to drag you down."

"You may have baggage from your life. But Karen, you are not damaged. We all have baggage from experiences in our lives. And I may be a happy person, but I have experienced heartache, last year when Nancy and I divorced. Nancy was my first love, but she was not my true love. You will never drag me down. Please, let me in."

His hand hadn't left from its place over my heart, his other hand still cupping my face. It was at that moment that I knew, I knew I needed Jimmy and his love.

"Okay," I said simply, not trusting my voice to say anymore.

He smiled for the first time since he had sat down next to me. "Thank you, Karen from Michigan. I can't wait to get to know you better!" He then moved his hand from my heart and his hand left my face as he scooted closer to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

I was so exhausted from the emotional roller coaster I had been on all day, I leaned into his embrace, laying my head on his shoulder. That is how we sat for at least twenty minutes, not saying a word, but just watching the people making their way down the path in front of us.

He checked his watch and looked down at me. "I hate to tell you this, but I have to go to work. How about you come with me? You can stay in my office, even during the taping if you prefer."

I thought about it for a moment as we stood, wiping the grass away from our pants. "I think I would like that. I really don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be around a lot of people. Does that make sense?"

He took my hand as we started down the path to take us out of Central Park. "Yes, I understand that. We have a gofer at the office, so if you want anything, I'll make sure he gets it for you. You have free reign of my office."

I smiled, the first genuine smile in a long time. "Thank you Jimmy, for everything."

He took my hand and kissed it. "Anything for my girl."

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About fifteen minutes later, we made it to 30 Rock. I was awestruck at the building I had always wanted to see.

"Amazing, huh?"

We walked into the building as I replied, "Yeah! I have never been here! Do you think after the show we could sneak up to the top? I've always wanted to go up there."

Jimmy smiled as we came up to security. "Of course! Anything for you my love!" He replied. The security guard on duty smiled when he saw Jimmy and I. "New friend Mr. Fallon?"

"That I do Karl. This is my girlfriend Karen Summers. Could you make sure she has an ID that will allow her here whenever she wants?"

Karl smiled at me before replying, "Of course! Let me get it for you." He got up and left us at the desk.

"Don't worry, we all have IDs. I wanted to make sure you never have to be stopped whenever you come. I called ahead and had them make it for you," he said, taking my hand once again.

Karl came back, handing me a card. It was a Tonight Show ID with my picture on it and my info. I looked to Jimmy in confusion because the picture was from earlier in the day. "Hope you don't mind, but I took your picture when you finished putting your earrings on and asked me what I thought. Told you I loved your outfit," he said smiling as he put the badge on my shirt.

He waved to Karl as we made our way to the elevator banks. We got on to the next available car, Jimmy pressing the 6. It didn't take long for us to make it to the 6th floor, the doors opening. Jimmy led me down the hallway, waving and greeting everyone in the hall.

He opened a door and motioned for me to go on in. I walked into the room in awe. "You like?" He asked, making his way to his desk and opening his laptop.

"Of course! I love it in here!" I exclaimed, walking slowly around the room, taking in all the memorabilia on the walls. I turned when I heard a voice in the doorway say, "I didn't know it was bring a friend to work day."

I made my way back to Jimmy's desk as Steve Higgins walked into the room, his hand outstretched. "Hi, I'm Steve."

I shook his hand, replying, "Karen."

"It's nice to meet you." He turned to Jimmy and said, "Hey Jim, we need you for the monologue rehearsal."

Jimmy stood and came from around his desk. "You can make yourself at home Karen. I probably won't make it back here before the show. I'll send Kevin in to check on you. He'll get you anything you need. You can watch the show from here," he said, pointing the TV across from the nice couch. He then gave me a kiss on the cheek, whispering, "I'll be back beautiful."

I blushed as Jimmy and Higgins left the room. I was making myself at home on the couch when a voice said from the doorway, "Don't move bitch, if you want to see your lover boy again."

A/N Okay, so this is my first note! Hi everyone! Sorry to leave with you with a cliffie, but I couldn't help it. Please don't hurt me! I hope to update tomorrow or Monday at the latest. Love you guys so much! Thank you for reading!