Once in a Lifetime

One The Mend

A/N - Okay, so I might need to warn you guys this gets a little steamy...but not all the way yet. 😏 I'm getting there though. Thanks for all the comments and votes! Love you guys!

The next few weeks passed fairly quickly. I was enjoying staying with Jimmy at his apartment. I also had a blast when Winnie came to stay. Two weeks after the shooting, the show came off hiatus. The FalPals were going crazy during the break; they couldn't wait for the show to come back on.

I tried to not go to work with Jimmy the first week back because I knew there was going to be a lot of paparazzi following him, and I didn't want my picture out there earlier than I was ready for. After the hospital incident, I tried to avoid the cameras when Jimmy and I would go out.

During Jimmy's second week back, I went with him to 30 Rock because I wanted a change of scenery. He had Winnie that week, so we brought her with us. When I didn't go with him to work, I kept Winnie at the apartment. I loved getting Winnie all to myself. We had some good days together.

I was still in my sling, the doctor making sure my arm was healed before he would allow me to use it all the time. I was doing physical therapy and I was well on track to be healed completely.

A few weeks passed and Jimmy and I were laying on the couch, watching Dirty Dancing at the end of one lazy Saturday we had spent watching movies. I was laying against Jimmy's chest, listening to his heart beat, feeling safe and warm enveloped in his embrace.

I looked up, still laying against him, catching Jimmy's attention. "Hey babe."

He kissed the top of my head before asking, "What's up?"

"I'll go on the show," I said, smiling.

Jimmy looked startled at my statement. "You'll what?"

"I'll go on the show. I think it's time," I said, glancing down. When Jimmy didn't say anything, I looked back up to him and he kissed me on the lips. "You have to be the best woman ever! I'll let everyone know Monday. Maybe we can have you on Wednesday's show!"

"Okay slow it down Fallon," I replied, laughing at his enthusiasm. I was nervous enough agreeing to this in the first place.

"I can't wait! The bloggers say you're still trending with the Pals. They haven't given much info out at my request. Now they can get their answers."

I turned back to the movie, realizing that it was my favorite part, when Baby and Johnny do their dance at the resort. I always rewind it and watch it like five times in a row.

The movie ended, and I looked back up to Jimmy. "Truth or dare."

He looked down at me, sitting up and stretching. "Hmmm truth."

"What are you most afraid of?" I asked, pulling my legs up and sitting Indian style on the couch.

He smiled, looking me in the eyes. "I'm afraid of losing you." I looked down, a little embarrassed. He got my attention when he said, "My turn! Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What is your deepest desire?"

I looked down for a moment, thinking. "My deepest desire. To be loved for who I am. To be loved wholly, without reserve and passionately." I knew that he understood that I was talking about him, and that I was ready for us.

He didn't disappoint. Jimmy scooted closer, leaning in to lock lips with me, passionately sliding his tongue into my mouth. I was already fighting for dominance with his tongue, enjoying the moment. My eyes were closed as I started moving my good hand under his shirt, sliding up his stomach. He had his hand under my shirt, also lightly touching my skin, setting me on fire with desire.

Next thing I knew, Jimmy picked me up off the couch. He then carried me to his room, laying me down on the bed carefully so he didn't jostle my arm.

He began kissing me again, trailing from my lips to my neck. He then made his way up behind my ear and started nibbling. My god, he was killing me! Never had a man been so gentle with me, yet set me on fire so quickly.

He slid my shirt up, starting to kiss my stomach, moving his way up to my breasts. I was on fire with every kiss he planted on my skin. He made it to my left breast when I started to breath heavier. I thought it was from desire and pleasure, but in reality I was starting to panic again and I didn't know why.

I wanted this, I wanted it so much in my heart. But I just couldn't. I pulled my shirt down, feeling like a dirty dog. "I can't Jimmy. I want to so bad, but I can't! I'm so sorry!"

I got up and ran to my room, closing the door. I started crying, sliding down the door until I was sitting on the floor, leaning against the door. I knew in my heart I loved Jimmy, more than anyone I had ever loved before. But I didn't know why being intimate with him was causing me to have panic attacks. I didn't know if this was a deal breaker with him or not.

Jimmy softly knocked on my door. "Karen? Babe? Will you let me in?"

I stood up, opening the door. I stood there, my head bowed, crying. He didn't say a word; Jimmy closed the distance between us and gathered me in his strong arms. I wrapped my good arm around his back, clutching his shirt in my fist as I cried on his chest. He laid his chin on my head, just holding me and not saying a word. We stood there for a good five minutes, my emotions crashing over me in waves.

Once the tears started slowing down, I released the death grip I had on his shirt, wiping away the tears that stained my face. "I'm sorry."

Jimmy lead me to the edge of my bed, helping me sit before he followed suit. He held my upper arms in his hands, making me look at him. "Never be sorry for that. You have had some crappy experiences with men and I'm sure that's what's causing you to panic. That is not your fault! You were not treated like you should be treated. I love you and I never want you to be afraid with me." He kissed me, gently and sweetly before continuing, "You're the best thing to ever happened to me Karen. I'm angry at the man who treated you so bad in the past that it affects you now in the present. Like I said a few weeks ago, we will take it slow and I will never force myself on you. A relationship should be built on trust and love." Tears started spilling down his face.

I pulled him closer, hugging him again. "Thank you," I whispered, crying again, this time from the emotion that had been in his voice. I knew he meant every word he said. I pulled back, looking him in the eyes again. "You are a special man James Fallon. I love you so much."

He stood me up and led me back to his room. I must have had a freaked out look on my face because he said, "Don't worry, it's not what you think. I figured you could sleep in here, no funny business." He helped me lay down, making me comfortable. He then added, "I just want you near me."

I smiled as he turned the lights off coming around the bed and climbing in next to me. I felt his arm slide under me, pulling me closer. I whispered in his ear, "I want you near me too."

That was how we fell asleep, in each other's arms.