Once in a Lifetime

Opening Her Heart

Karen's POV

I could feel the cool air of the oxygen running through the mask as I regained consciousness. The blackness melted away as I opened my eyes. I took in a deep breath, relieved that the asthma attack had passed while I was out. I hadn't had an attack that bad in a long time. But in this case, the sudden stress of hearing that Jimmy had been injured worse than he let on caused me to have one.

I glanced around, looking for Ellen, since she had been with me when I passed out. I really liked Steve's wife. She was so sweet and I couldn't wait to get to know her.

I looked over to my left and was surprised to see Jimmy sitting next to me, his hand in mine, leaning forward, his head against the bed, fast asleep. For the first time, I got to take a good look at the handsome man in front of me.

His hair was tussled, which I hadn't seen on him since his SNL days. Not that I was complaining; personally I loved the messed up hair look on him. I was alarmed by the bruise that had formed around the stark white bandage on his forehead. I carefully pulled my hand out of his and touched the bandage gently, feeling the stitches beneath.

I just watched him for a while, still unable to believe that Jimmy Fallon liked me. I guess since I had been put down so much in my life for my weight, I was overly critical of myself. I knew he wanted to be in my heart, but it was still closed off enough that I almost wanted to push him away.

I sighed, letting a smile form on my lips. If Jimmy wanted to love me for who I was on the inside, not what I looked like on the outside, then I needed to accept that. I never once in my life loved in the moment. I always looked ahead to the inevitable heartache. I had to stop. A quote popped in my head from Tennyson, that it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I needed to start living my life and letting others in.

I didn't dare move for fear he would wake up. He just looked so darn cute when he slept, almost like a little kid. After what Ellen had said earlier, the poor man had to be exhausted. I began to run my hand through his hair, feeling how soft his dark hair was. Jeff hated when I would run my hands through his hair. I hoped Jimmy liked it.

So many emotions were running through my mind and heart that I didn't notice when Jimmy stirred beneath my touch. I did notice when he lifted his head up, startling me from my thoughts.

He looked around, then at me, his face lighting up with a big smile. "Your awake!"

"Yup, for a few minutes now," I replied, watching him stretch before I cautiously held my hand out to him. Almost instantly he took my hand, careful to not disturb the IV in my arm.

"How are you feeling? I didn't know you had asthma."

"Tired. But that's normal for me after I've had a severe attack. I've had asthma for a few years now. It developed after my allergies got really bad. But I'm good now," I replied, smiling at him.

"That's good! I was so worried when Ellen started texting Higgins to have him bring me back here. I was scared that it was bad."

I smiled, squeezing his hand. "It was at the time. But once they give me some medications to open my airway, the attack stopped. I'll be just fine. You had me worried too."

"I did?" He asked. I nodded before touching his head. "Oh that."

"Yeah that. That's quite a bruise your sporting. It's going to take quite a bit of makeup to cover that," I said smiling.

"Yeah, he clocked me pretty good. But I'm okay. I finally got some sleep so I'm much better than before, that first time you woke up."

I smiled before getting serious again. "Would you please tell me what happened? Ellen wouldn't tell me what happened. She just told me what injuries I had."

The smile left Jimmy's face as conflicting emotions played across his face and in his eyes. "I don't want to, but I know you deserve to know."

"Yes, I do." I rubbed my thumb across the back of his hand. "Please tell me."

He took a deep breath before he began. "Well, I was doing my monologue rehearsal when a shot went off behind me. I turned around, and this guy had an arm around your neck and was dragging you through the studio. He made Miles lock the door and sent me to my desk.

"I tried to get him to let you go, but he squeezed harder, almost strangling you. He threw," Jimmy stopped for a moment, tears starting to fall down his face. "He threw you to the floor, kicked you away then stomped down on your arm. That's how come your arm is broken so badly. He did quite a number on it.

"I guess Miles and Turiq were trying to come up with a plan to take him down, but the guy saw them and shot Miles." My eyes went wide because I didn't remember anyone telling me about Miles.

"Is he okay?" I asked, concern evident on my face.

"He will be. He has to stay another night and be on crutches for a week or two. But thankfully it wasn't as bad as it looked or sounded. Mike and Patrick kept him company until his wife came."

"Thank a God," I responded, bowing my head in relief. We sat in silence for a moment or two before I looked up. "Okay, so what happened next?"

Jimmy picked the narrative back up. "Well, I begged him to stop hurting everyone and he didn't take to kindly to that. That how I ended up with this," he said, pointing to the bruise and bandage. "He hit me in the head with his gun. I was disoriented, but it cleared within a moment or two. But the next thing I knew, you had stood up, cradling your bad arm and leaning against the wall. You called him a bastard before asking why he was hurting everyone."

Jimmy stopped, his emotions clearly getting the better of him. Fresh tears fell to his lap, causing me to tear up. "He said it was because he could then he shot you. I watched you slide down the wall, before you slumped to the floor."

I looked down to my lap, stunned at what I was hearing. I didn't realize how bad it had been in the studio and exactly what I had put Jimmy through.

He continued, "But I was so proud of you. You stood up to that guy, and by doing that, gave Turiq, Quest and Higgins a chance to bring him down. They got the gun away from him as Frank let the police in." He squeezed my hand, giving me a smile.

I pulled my hand from Jimmy's, my head dropping and my gaze going to my lap as I whispered, "I am so sorry I put you through that. I don't remember anything, but I feel horrible that you had to watch it."

Jimmy cupped my chin in his hand and lifted my tear stained face to look at him. "Do not feel sorry for anything. You saved us in there yesterday. Not only me, but everyone in that studio yesterday are grateful for your bravery."

My lips started quivering, tears falling freely. Jimmy scooted his chair closer and put his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into the crook of his neck, his head resting on top of mine. We stayed like that for a few minutes while I let my emotions out. I could feel his tears falling onto the top of my head and surprisingly it comforted me.

"Feeling a little better?" Jimmy asked a few minutes later.

I wiped away the moisture from my eyes with the back of my hand before I replied, "Yeah, thank you." I pulled away from his embrace for a moment before I decided to take a leap of faith.

I pulled Jimmy closer as best as I could with one hand and an IV in. My hand went behind his head to his neck, playing with the hair on his nape as I leaned in close, my lips meeting his.

His eyes closed as he responded, his lips so soft. I closed my eyes as well, savoring the moment that I finally let someone in my heart.

A/N - Okay guys, so I hope you like this story so far! I'm finally getting Karen to come around and realize that she can love and be loved. I'm trying to update everyday, but it is hard because Karen is such a big part of me and I want to do her justice. So thank you all, my dear readers for reading! It means the world to me!