chapter 24

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Megan's POV - few weeks later

My mum hasn't woken up once, I guess she really is in a coma. I was hoping that the doctors had gotten it all wrong and she'd wake up like normal and we could go home but I was dead wrong, dead dead wrong. She was the complete opposite. If you think about it my mums had no luck with a good life, sure she had me, Jacob, dad and the guys but she's been through so much shit, she at least deserves to beat this fucking cancer, cancers a bitch. I sit by my mums side every single day, I skip school because I can't force myself to leave my mums side, my dad's tried to get me to leave but all I do is get angry so he backs off. I don't like shouting at him in anyway but he has to understand that my mum is way more important to me than school. Speaking of school I haven't heard from Finn or the other 2 guys, I've kind of isolated myself off with everyone outside the hospital, it makes it easier for me. I turn my phone off so no one can contact me. Every single day, while no one else is around, I sit next to my mum on the bed, hold her hand and remind her of the great memories me and her had when we were little. I remember one time, before my dad was in the picture, I was about 3 years old I guess and me and my mum has gone swimming together, it was my first time.

"Hey mum, remember the first time you took me swimming? yeah, I was about 3 years old and I remember being so excited" I recall on that day, "I was annoying you because I wouldn't stop fidgeting in the car and shouting about how excited I was, you didn't get mad though because you liked seeing me happy, that's the thing with you mum, you always looked out for me before yourself" I said as a tear began fall down my cheek, "it sucks you know, that we might not be able to make any new memories together, I hope we do, if you leave.. everything will fall apart at the seams, because you're the glue mum, you're the glue that's sticking this family together!" I explained. At this point I was full on sobbing.

"Oh Megan" I heard from behind me. I quickly spun round and saw Jake, Matt and Finn standing in the doorway with sad smiles on their faces.

"How much of that did you hear?" I asked cautiously.

"Enough to know that you need a hug from us" Matt said and motioned for me to hug them. I reluctantly left my mums side and walked over to them. I know I didn't show it but I was so happy to see them. They all wrapped their arms around me and squeezed me tightly, I didn't care, I felt happy to know I have them here with me.

"Thankyou" I mumbled into one of their chests. I know they heard me because they squeezed tighter. After a while they all let go. I looked back at my mum and sighed.

"You guys want to go get a coffee?" I suggested. I needed a break from this. Plus my dad should be back soon. They all nodded with heads with smiles. I quickly wrote a note to my dad to say where I was in case he got back early and I wasn't there, then we all left the room. I didn't want to leave my mum all by herself but I'm losing my mind, I need to get out.

We ordered our coffees then sat down at a small table big enough for all of us to sit at. I've drunk so much coffee in the last few weeks I'm not surprised if I have coffee pumping around my body.

"So how are you feeling?" Jake asked me. I just gave them a blank look as they all looked at me.

"What is this, some kind of fucking therapy session?" I asked, it came out a lot harsher than I originally wanted it to be.

"We just want to help Meg" Finn said sadly as he took ahold of one of my hands. I looked down at our hands and felt empty.

"I can't lose her" I said. None of them really knew what to say, as much as they want to, they don't know how to make me feel better. I don't expect them to do that, it's just nice having them here.

"Do you know if she's going to be okay?" Jake asked. I just looked down at my lap.

"She's dying basically, the fucking cancer is winning, like it always does.." I mumbled the last part.

"I'm so sorry Megan, Mumma P doesn't deserve any of this" Matt said sadly.

"You know, there were so many things I wanted to say to her before she you know.. died and now she basically is, she's not going to wake up ever again, so the doctors say but why do I still have my hopes up that she's going to open her eyes one day?" I broke down. I couldn't hold it in anymore, it seems that all I do now a days is cry in people's arms as they try and calm me down, "I need my mum" I sobbed into Finns chest. He wrapped his arms around me securely and held me.

"It's going to be okay Megan, everything will be okay" Finn kept repeating in my ear. All of a sudden I felt tired, all of the crying had knocked all the energy out of me. The last thing I remember is my eyes slowly closing.

~~~

I woke up in a familiar place, my mums hospital room. The guys must have carried me back after I fell asleep. I looked around and saw that the guys had gone and my dad and brother were sitting in the room quietly.

"Did they guys go?" I asked tiredly. My dad looked at me and nodded.

"They left after they carried you back here, Finn let you sleep in his lap for a while until they had to leave" My dad explained. I nodded my head in understanding. I walked over to them both silently and sat in between them. We all sat together quietly as we watched my mum peacefully lay in her bed, she seemed so happy.

"I'm going to miss her" I said. We all knew this conversation would happen but none of us wanted to start it. I needed to though, I needed to say it. My dad sighed shakily like he was going to cry and just wrapped an arm around me. I cuddled into his chest and just kept watching my mum.

"So am I" Jacob added. I looked at him with a sad smile, I saw a tear slowly roll down his cheek. I held an arm out and motioned for him to cuddle me. He didn't hesitate one bit, he happy cuddled up to me.

"She's not gone yet" My dad said. Even though me and Jacob are younger and would take death a lot harder, my dad will take my mums death the worse. He's been so strong for her, through all the years and he's not cried once. I know for a fact that he will, he'll sob his heart out and I don't know if I'll be able to handle seeing him like that. That will be the hardest day of my life.

I cuddled my dad even tighter, so he couldn't leave me. All 3 of us cuddled together in silence, watching our mother lay there on the bed and the only noise we could hear was the beeping monitor.

"Will we cope?" I asked, breaking the silence in the room. I heard my dad sigh beside me.

"Please, not now Megan." My dad replied, I knew he didn't want to think about a life without our mum but we'll have to one day. I'm probably the only one facing reality that my mum won't make it and one day we'll have to carry on without her.

Just don't hate me please!!

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