Stay Away From My Friends (sequel to bulletproof love)

chapter 7

Trigger warning: self harm.

Megan's POV

I didn't sleep at all last night. Yesterday's event kept circulating through my head and won't leave my mind. I'd never been so humiliated in my life, what did I do to deserve that? I hadn't even spoken to him before all this happened so why didn't he choose me to humiliate out of all the people in the school? It's just not fair. After I left my dad to go back to my room, my mum came in and let me cry in her arms like my dad did. He must have explained it all to her because she kept whispering in my ear that "everything will be okay" and "you'll be fine" those words from my mum put a small smile on my face for a while but I still couldn't stop crying. She held me for a good hour until I fell asleep in her arms. I woke up in the middle of the night, I was tucked up in bed and she was gone. I couldn't get back to sleep after that, my mind was preoccupied with other things. I stayed awake till early hours of the morning which means I'll be tired all day for school.

"Beep beep beep!" My alarm rang in my ear as the clock hit 7am. I groaned tiredly and shut it off before I broke it. Another day of hell- oh wait I mean school. I slowly got ready for school, not really putting much effort into my appearance because who am I kidding? Who have I got to impress? Once I was ready, I went downstairs to see my family.

I headed down and went into the kitchen, I heard voices so I knew they were all up but I was afraid to face them after last night. I took a deep breath then stepped inside. The door creaked which made all 3 of them look towards me, once my mum and dad saw me they gave me sympathetic smile, they knew my day would be rough today since I don't have the guys anymore, I'm a complete loner. But my brother knew nothing about it and I'd like to keep it that way.

"Morning sweetie, how are you feeling?" My mum asked kindly.

"Fine I guess" I shrugged. I wasn't fine at all, in fact I was terrified about today, I was now a new target for all the bullies at my school because I don't have the guys to protects me anymore. I sighed to myself.

"You'll be fine!" My dad came up to me and said while pulling me into a side hug. He kissed the top of my head which made me smile, even though my parents can make my life a living hell sometimes, they're still my parents and they're the only ones that care for me right now.

"I hope so" I sighed. I wriggled out of my dad's arms and put my shoes on. I grabbed my bag, shouted bye to my family and left the house, let the torture begin.

I walked to school by myself since Finn isn't speaking to me anymore. I put my earphones in and blasted a bit of my dad's music, they always seem to put me in a better mood. Luckily for me nothing bad happened to the way to school, I walked in peace and quiet. A few minutes later I arrived at the school gates, I sighed to myself. I really didn't want to be here. I walked slowly and 3 people caught my eye. Finn, Matt and Jake were standing in our usual spot while having a conversation between themselves. I looked at them as they laughed with each other, I really screwed up. I lost the 3 best things that happened to me. Those 3 guys used to be my whole life until I completely abandoned them for a guy that I hardly knew, what have I done?

I didn't realise I was still staring until I made eye contact with Finn. He gave me a blank look then quickly looked away again. I sighed to myself with a slight head shake then walked away. The bell finally rang which meant time for first period, math. I had math with Matt which if I'm honest, I wasn't looking forward to at all. As I arrived at the door of my math class, I saw that Matt was already sitting in his seat, I took a deep breathe and walked in. I felt his eyes on me but I didn't look back at him or say anything. I sat in my seat which was in front of him and kept quiet. This is so hard. I knew Matt and Jake were as mad at me as Finn was but I still could bring myself to speak to any of them.

All the way through class I didn't say a word to anyone, I just sat there doodling in my notebook. I heard girls whispering about me at one point which I chose to ignore but I couldn't believe that I was the talk of the school already, ?it was only yesterday. The bell rang which mean end of class, I quickly fled the room and headed for my next class which I was dreading the most, gym. It was my only class with Finn, the one person who I'm afraid of seeing out of everyone.

I got changed into my gym clothes and got ready for class. A bunch of girls were looking at me and giggling, I'd had enough.

"What's so funny?!" I asked pissed off. They went wide eyed and looked away quickly, gossipers.

"Shut up Preciado just because you have a famous dad doesn't mean you can shout at others. I mean look at you, no wonder Jason used you!" A snotty girl called Amber smirked. I looked at her in rage.

"Fuck you!" Was all I said. I didn't need anymore drama in my life. I stormed off out of the changing room and into the gym where everyone was.

I walked in and everyone stared at me, I heard immediate whispers which were probably about me but I ignored it without shouting at them. I saw Finn, he was sitting alone and looking bored out of him mind. I wish I could just ran over and pull him into a tight hug and make everything okay but I know he doesn't want that, he doesn't want anything to do with me. I then stopped when I saw Jason, he was with his group of friends just laughing with each other, oh how much I hate them all. Just the sight of Jason makes me feel angry but upset at the same time, he broke my heart. I just stayed away from everyone because I don't exactly have any friends now and then gym class began.

All the way through gym we played dodgeball again and everyone ganged up on me. Jason and his friends thought it would be funny to make me a target and throw all the dodge balls at me and when everyone realised what they were doing, everyone else decided to join in, I was hit in the face twice which made everyone laugh. What surprised me was that Finn didn't aim for me at all, I thought that with how annoyed he was at me then he could get revenge but he didn't, maybe he still does care? I sure hope so.

The rest of the day dragged on, I got pushed into a locker twice and had my books knocked out of my hands by jocks, I didn't realise how vulnerable I am without the guys with me.

I walked home alone fine, nothing happens which I was happy about, I don't think I could've handled anything else. I arrived home and slammed the door behind me with a giant sigh.

"How was school sweetie?" My mum asked.

"Fine" I lied. I decided not to say how it really went because I didn't want her to worry anymore.

"See! I told you that you'd be fine!" She smiled. Yeah, you wouldn't say that if you knew how it really went. I just nodded and went upstair. I got to my bedroom and closed to door behind me, how did all this happen to me? I felt so low and upset from today, I was expecting it to happen but I couldn't believe that basically the whole school ganged up on me after what happen.

I sat on my bed and there was one thing that was stuck on my mind. I'd never turned to self harming before no matter how bad my life got but I've heard it helps so what could be so bad about it? I quietly went over to the bathroom and found a razor from the cupboard. I broke it and kept the blade. I went back to my bedroom, sat on my bed and just stared at the shiny piece of metal that was sat between my 2 fingers. I held my arm out and looked at my pale forearm. I placed the blade on my arm, took a deep breath and dragged the blade across the skin. I winced a bit at the pain as it stung but strangely I felt quite relieved from it, it took away the pain I felt inside. I did it a few more times until I had a few more neat red lines on my forearm. I watched the blood surfaced through the cuts on my arms, the sight of blood made me relax a little as I felt tears quietly roll down my cheeks, I never thought my life could get this low until now. What am I doing to myself?