Self

numb.

feels

           what is it to feel? to love? to be cared for? or even to feel sad or anxious and angry? i don't know for a i feel if all but then i feel nothing not even a moment later. is there something wrong with me? am i not as perfect as this society craves me to be? will i be kicked to the curb next? i do not know but what i do know and understand is my depression and anxiety. it sucks it really does, but the good thing is i don't feel. i love and loath this feeling, this feeling that could only be described as numbness. numb. that's what i feel. void to this world and everyone that comes with it. when i try to talk about it what do i get. i get compared to others yet again when for the first time im trying to open myself up to the world, but the world is cruel and harsh and only shuts me out. i hate my life but i love it. society is an issue that needs to be dealt with, ive let society go through me and now i cannot allow it to go through anyone else like it has gone through me. you'll never be the same

sorry if lower caps bothers you, and i know my punctuation isn't all correct but it just felt right for this part.