Self

feels.

feels [2]
Only a few mere meaningless yet meaningful months later we are here. we feel loved and overjoyed and as comical as this sounds because of a male, better yet a high school male. how can someone give you attraction like this? where it's not only physical because obviously that's there but it's also there. you know that you really like them or you're completely in love with them because they consume your thoughts every second of the day. he was what i think about when i wake up, he's the last thing i think about when before i sleep. throughout the entire day he's one of the only things i think about everything else is pushed to the back of my brain. why is it that love makes us feel happy or elated yet also love makes us feel sad angry and hopeless. love can make or break you. and the people you give your heart to can decide it for you. honestly it's terrifying knowing the person you give your heart to could be the last person and they can shatter it into millions of tiny pieces or they can be the one you've been waiting for your entire life. you just never know and to me it's absolutely terrifying. why did i give my heart away so easily this time? i barely put up a fight and now i'm afraid. i know what i need to know about him to comfortably say i love him, but do i need to know more in order to deduce as to whether or not he will break my heart. the rational part of my brain is saying yes i need to know; however, the irrational part of my brain or my heart some would say is no i trust him enough to believe that he won't destroy me. and God i hope i'm making the right decision this time, it's the same as last time except last time i regretted my decision this time i'm not so sure i will. i trust him and i don't need to dig for gold. he's a great man and i love him and trust him wholeheartedly that's all i need to know.
A/N sorry if the lack of punctuation and incorrect grammar bothers you guys, but i feel like it plays up in the story more.