Ghost Of You // A.I

Home / August 2019 / The Final Chapter

A/N: This is complete trash, but I wanted to end the book on a more final note if that makes sense. (lol why do I even write author's notes, it's not like anyone actually reads this)

"Shit!"

The skies opened up just as I yanked the last bag from the back seat of my car. Rain began to soak through my shirt as I sprinted for the front door, held open by a grinning Ashton.

"Oh, quit laughing!" I say as I cross the threshold and the rain is muffled by the closed door. 

"Sorry-no, get off me!" 

He squeals like a child as I wrap my soaked arms around him and we topple towards the living room of his house. 

Our house. 

//

"I'm so happy we made it here."

My ears are filled with the persistent tapping of rain and the steady beat of Ashton's heart under my head. I arch my neck to look up at him from my position across his chest. His eyes are far away, trained on a spot on the ceiling I know he isn't really looking at. 

"What do you mean?"

"This is going to sound super cheesy...but we made it back here. To each other."

"Yeah...we did."

It had been a month since our kiss outside Michael's house. It had been a month of going on dates like we'd only just met, a month of late-night talks discussing the future we thought had disappeared for good. It had been a month of frequent visits to a certain hill under the stars, to remind ourselves where we used to be, and maybe help us get back to that place. 

By the end of the month, moving back in together felt easy. After seven months, we slotted back together like puzzle pieces, and after the rudimentary introductions to his new tattoos, my new job and different hair, it was like we'd never been apart. 

We were in a delicate place, our relationship a fragile thing that we treated with care for fear of losing it yet again. Our future together was far from set in stone, and whether or not slotting back together was a good idea or not was still unknown to us. The reason for the past seven months of sleeping alone still hung heavy in the air we breathed, but at least we were breathing the air together. (A/N wow what the fuck even is this).

"I don't want to rush anything, Ems. I'm still so amazed that you're here, and you're here tomorrow night and every night after that. And I'm happier than I've been in a very long time, but..."

"But the baby thing still stands. And I've been thinking too, and I talked to my sister too...and after talking with her and running things through my head...I think I want to have a baby."

"You do?"

His eyes were no longer far away, for they lit up like a Christmas tree as he sat up and pulled me with him, staring me dead in the eyes with a look of both joy and seriousness on his face. 

"What changed?"

//

And so I began the first of many conversations, of remembering my mother and understanding why her leaving tainted the idea of motherhood for me. These conversations at first could only last for a few minutes before the pain in my chest got too great, but slowly I found it easier to say my mother's name, and to feel the rage that had been building since the day I held her cold hand under the blinding white hospital lights. Slowly, with tears and fears and screamed words at a woman who was long gone, the fear began to dissipate, to be replaced with something new. 

Longing. Wishing. Hoping. 

Wanting. 

And finally, though we were so far from perfect, we were closer to being ready than we had ever been. 

So the second time I found myself on the bathroom floor, tears in my eyes and test in my hand, I didn't feel sadness. 

I felt joy, and he did too. 

END OF BOOK ONE