You're Mine

Chapter Seventeen

Ashley

I scoff at the hospital room I've entered, Ryan slowly shuffling in behind me with a bag of clothes and other things I may want to have with me. This room was going to be my new home for however long and it looked terrible. Plain and drab. The sight of it sprung tears to my eyes.

Saying goodbye to my family last night was hard and my Mom's arms had wound around me ridiculously tight as if she knew something was wrong. I had lied to them, claiming I was on some huge tour with multiple countries and no breaks. 

Robin had wished me luck and gave me the friendship bracelet I made her when I was ten for luck, claiming this sounded like they would be the hardest shows of my careers. I had choked back tears, hugging her tightly. 

It was ridiculous not telling them. I knew it was. But it would only hurt them and they'd be in my face all day, every day. It was too much right now- besides, I was barely coping with the news myself.

"I need to head to work for a bit, but it's just getting settled for now. They'll take bloods and get you your IV bag and all that- right?" Ryan stares right at me, placing my bag on the ground, as if he's afraid I'll lie to him too.

"Yes, relax. Doctor Mercer isn't coming with all the team until about four tonight." I glance at the clock, sighing. It's only 10am now.

"I'll be back for that." Ryan nods, placing another box down beside the bed. A nurse appears at the door, beaming. 

Her red hair sits gently on her shoulders, curling outwards slightly and her eyes wrinkle as she offers me a smile. It's comforting.

"Good morning Miss Kokken. How are you feeling?" She asks, making her way over. She shakes both of our hands. "I'm nurse Kelly."

"Nice to meet you." I reply, watching her lay out a gown on the bed. Ryan lifts his eyebrows at me, nodding to the door. "Ok, don't forget to bring back my work phone from my apartment!"

"I know."

"And remember to drop off that gift to the post office so Ally gets it and doesn't come looking for me."

"I know."

"Oh Ryan-"

"Yes, I know. Bring back a double cheeseburger and fries." He smiles at me, shaking his head before he backs out the door. I chuckle at myself, scratching my head. I don't particularly like relying on others but I can't do much being in here.

"He seems very sweet- nice to have a boyfriend running about after you, isn't it?" Kelly smiles at me, her hand twisting a golden ring around her finger. "I remember when my husband was like that."

"He's not my boyfriend actually." I correct her, slinging my own bag off my shoulder. "Actually, he's my ex-boyfriend."

"What a great guy." She smiles. 

"Yeah..he is." 

She backs out of the room with another smile and leaves me to change into the gown. I head to the bathroom and slowly slip off my clothes, changing into the standard white and blue pattered gown. My hands shake slightly as I look at myself in the mirror.

What if I never look this way again? My entire career, my lifeline, is built on my looks and my body. I'm not a particularly vain person- if it were up to me, I'd eat burgers for the rest of my life and become one with my couch. But I wouldn't get booked for shows.

Who's going to want to hire me after this? After I lose my hair and either get underweight or overweight? After I lose things like eyebrows and eyelashes?