You're Mine

Chapter Eighteen

Riley

"Look, this is just incredibly awkward but can you just come get it?" I try to keep my voice as steady as possible. "This probably isn't even your phone number. But you can come by within the next few days. If you don't, I'm throwing it all away."

I hang up, releasing a breath I didn't realise I was holding. The last thing I want to do is see Chris, the thought just gives me the chills. But I need him to take his stuff back, or I need to get rid of it. It's time to move on- for real.

Especially since the other night happened.

I push the thought out of my mind, my eyes glancing down to the phone in my hand which shows I've missed three calls from Luke since it happened and five from Lucy. I shove my phone in my pocket, rushing out the door to work.

A small part of me felt guilty for the other night. I think Chris made me feel like I wasn't going to have anything as good as Luke again- he made me feel like maybe this was all I was ever going to get. 

Now Luke is within my grasp again- the happiness he brought me, the kindness, the love. It's all there and I'm afraid to grab it. I'm afraid he'll leave again and for the longest time, I couldn't even understand how to love someone else. I didn't think it was possible.I think the both of us being grown will only make that worse. 

I'm scared to rush into this, but I think the waiting and and hoping will kill me, because I think I know deep down this is all I really want. Him and me. For however long we can make it last. 

I think what's worst is despite being scared, I'd do it all again anyway. I'd lose him again- because I loved him so much. I'd do it in a heartbeat.

My heads in a spin when I arrive at the coffee shop and Fey grins deviously at me when I enter, making me frown at her in suspicion.

"What?" 

She giggles. "So grouchy. Come get your coffee." She holds out a large cup towards me, my name written in swirly loops. I take a long sip and close my eyes, relieved to have some caffiene in me. 

She watches me as I dump my bags in the back and put on my apron. I scoff, grabbing my coffee before sitting on one of the back counters. "Spit it out Fey."

"You have to call him." She folds her arms. "Luke. Please, because Lucy hasn't shut up about the two of you and I'm trying to get to know her, not the ins and outs of your relationship."

I bite back a laugh. "You're still seeing Lucy?"

"Of course I am. She really wants to talk to you, but she doesn't want to overstep by just showing up at your place. Luke told her you'd need some alone time." Fey starts to clean the machine beside me and I groan, slipping off the counter to help her.

"I'm furious." I confess. "With myself. For kissing him."

"Because of your ex?"

"What? No." I frown. "Chris is long gone and I couldn't care less about him. I hate myself because now I can't stop thinking about it and I'm terrified."

"Have you even talked this out with anyone yet?" Fey asks me, wiping down one of the pipes.

"No." I chuckle, sighing. "What's worse? Luke's been in my life just over two months, and he's slipped right back into being one of my best friends."

"What's so wrong with that?"

"Because he's the only one I want to talk to about the kiss. And he's the one person I can't."