You're Mine

Chapter Nineteen

Luke

Riley's cheeks immediately fill with colour, her eyes glazing over with tears. I didn't mean to intrude in her personal things, but I had to un-wedge it to open the drawer and I couldn't just ignore it.

My stomach had flipped. Is she pregnant? Is she keeping it? Is it Chris'?

"This is.." Her hand tightens around the photo. She closes her eyes, shaking her head as she turns from me. "I just got you back. If I tell you.."

"Hey." I pull at the waistband on her jeans, tugging her to face me. A few tears run down her cheeks. "Nothing is going to change what I think about you- and nothing is going to make me leave. I'm not going anywhere."

My voice must be firmer than it felt because she hands me the picture, her hands trembling. She takes a few deep breaths. "This is a baby. It's my baby- that I didn't have."

"Did you..miscarry?" I ask, glancing at her stomach as if it'll give me the answer. She shakes her head, more tears running down her face.

"I had an abortion." She confesses, letting out a loud sigh. "And I haven't told anybody. Ashley knew I was pregnant so I can assume she must've guessed but nobody else knows."

"Riles.." My voice fades as she looks over at me. It's one of the hardest decisions in the world, especially to do alone. I could never make that kind of decision and I'm grateful I'll likely never have to. "That's a heavy weight to carry alone."

"I felt so ashamed." She cries. "And guilty. But I wasn't ready- Chris was cheating on me and I was in college and-"

She starts to sob, her hand covering her eyes. I reach over, pulling her into a tight hug as she sobs against my shirt. "Did you go alone?"

"Chris was meant to be there, but his family are really conservative. He doesn't believe in abortions and hated me for it." She explains, her voice shuddering. "He stayed with me after because I was a wreck but..it killed me. It really fucked me up."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of." I hold her a little tighter. "What you did, was save that kid from going into care or not having the life it deserved to have. You saved it from a sorry excuse for a father. You were brave- and you have nothing to feel guilty about."

She cries harder, gripping my shirt. It breaks my heart to hear, because she must've been holding onto this for so long- and for her to think this would change how I thought about her, how I felt about her, must've really weighed her down.

"Look at me." I pull her back from me and she rubs her eyes, wiping away the mascara. "Chris was a douche- I don't need to meet him to know that. He was a piece of shit and you deserved better. You deserve better." I sigh, letting go of her. "I don't know where we are or what you want Riles, but I'm here. I'm not him. I'm not leaving this time."

"Promise me." Her voice shakes, but she forces her eyes to meet my own. "You have no idea what it was like. Promise me."

"I did." I reach up, tugging at her hair. "Trust me. I looked for you in every crowd for a year. I had one serious girlfriend and she only lasted six months, because you were in everything we did together. I couldn't stop thinking about you and I felt crazy." I laugh. "I felt like some obsessed ex boyfriend. Then I see you in Mike's and suddenly it made sense to me."

"What made sense?" She asks, her voice shaking.

"All the craziness and the searching and everything for the past five years was just waiting. It was all just waiting to get back to you- to have our actual shot together."

She smiles at me, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I'm on a roll here, so I'm just going to say it- I never moved on. I never got over you. I am unsure about everything in my stupid life. My father, my friends, my job. It's all a little unsteady. But I am certain that this is it Riles. I love you. I don't think I'll ever stop- I don't think I ever did."