You're Mine

Chapter Twenty

Ashley

I chew my hamburger carefully, hoping the nurses don't spot my smuggled in food. The drip currently attached to my arm moves with me as I turn the page of my magazine.

My heart aches, looking at a wedding advertisement as I think of the letter I sent to Cassian the other day.

I explained I needed some me time, and we were going to have to take a break. I didn't want him to find me or call me, just leave me be. Considering how much he moves for jobs however, I have no idea if he even has it yet.

We were never near marriage- I never actually thought we would be, hence why I'm a little confused to be hurting over seeing the beautiful white dresses. But maybe it's because I know I can't have this anymore- a big wedding with friends and family.

I'm dying and nobody can deny that, no matter how hard Ryan tries to. I'll be lucky to make it out of this alive and if I do, I'll probably never be the same. Friends wise, who knows who they are anymore. Everybody in this business either wants to take your job or your boyfriend and would sell you out for a few hundred bucks.

My family, if they ever figure out where I am and what's going on, may never forgive me.

"Hey." Ryan's voice booms as he walks in the room, breaking into my thoughts.

I shake my head to clear them, slamming shut the magazine. "Hey you."

"I brought you some pillows and stuff from home. How are you feeling? IL2 giving you any trouble?"

"I feel fine." I shrug and he narrows his eyes. It's actually the truth, but I'm prepared for what's coming. "Honestly. I do."

"If you say so." He sighs, throwing down the duffel bag he was carrying. "I got a call from Luke the other day."

"Oh?"

"He wants to see you." His lips tighten slightly. I frown. "He knows you're sick."

"You told him?" I rise up slightly but Ryan throws his hands up, wincing.

"I didn't tell him."

The realisation strikes me. Riley. Riley must've told him because only she and Hollie saw me that day. They're in contact?

"We saw her at that restaurant and they chatted but.." I look over at Ryan. "They're spending time together? As friends or?"

"You can ask him yourself, because I really don't know myself." Ryan shrugs. "You want to see him, right?"

"I mean.." I tug on my plait. I do, and maybe the sooner the better. Before any hair falls out or I start looking really bad. "Yeah. Of course."

"Okay. I'll call him, maybe see if he can drop by this afternoon?"

"Don't you have a job?" I drawl, raising an eyebrow at him as I yank another magazine in my direction. He rolls his eyes, fiddling with his jacket.

"It's fine."

"Ryan."

He sighs. "Dave is covering today. It's fine, Ash."

"You're doing this as a favour to me- I don't want you to start giving up parts of your life. I'm okay Ryan."

"Look, I had a chat with the doctor alright? And I want to be here. Before everything kicks in." He avoids my eyes.

"What? Before I start shivering and puking? I don't want you to see that Ryan- I want you to go."

"Ash-"

"No! Don't 'Ash' me. I didn't ask you to stay and be here all the time and bringing pillows and burgers and-!" I take a breath, my head spinning. "I don't want you to see me like this. This is something I planned to do alone and you have no right to intrude-"