grayson:
i woke up, peacefully for once, and looked around me. i saw across from me, that same girl from yesterday in her bed. i forgot her name.
as soon as i got up, she got up soonly afterwards. she looked over at me and smiled, but i just ignored her. i really don't have time to make friends while i have four more days left in this hellhole.
"morning, grayson." she got up. "morning." i stayed in bed, looking at the ceiling. "what are you thinking about?" she walked over to me. i waited for a while to respond, "nothing."
she walked back over to the door and looked throughout the window. you could see some of the other people through that window, but most people are still asleep during this time. she sighed and walked back over to her bed.
"i see there's literally nothing to do here. i'm going to go insane." she commented. "yup, it sucks but it was our choice to come here." i said.
"our choice? first off, this wasn't my choice. my father forced me to, most likely to just get rid of me for a while. and second off, what do you mean "our"? do you mean- you... you tried to commit suicide too?"
i rolled my eyes. back to this topic again. "if you want to know so badly, then yes. yes i tried to commit suicide. are we good now?" i snapped. she paused for a minute just like i did. "yeah, it's whatever." she frowned.
the guards came and told us breakfast was being served. i got up but she didn't. before i exited the cell, i turned around.
"are you coming?" i asked. "oh n-no, i'm okay. i don't f-feel like eating anyways." she weakly smiled. i nodded my head and walked out into the cafeteria.
-
after done eating, i threw my tray away and walked back to my cell just like everyone else did. the girl was against the wall, scratching her arm. i looked at her weirdly, about to ask if she was okay. she looked up at me and stopped, smiling quickly.
"u-uh, hey." i said awkwardly, walking over to my bed. "hi." she was breathing heavily.
"are you okay? it doesn't look like you're breathing right.." i cautiously asked. "i'm fine.. just uh anxious." she faked laughed.
i bit my lip then turned over to my bed, sitting down. i got out one of my favorite books and started reading it. my other roommate walked in and stared at the girl.
"oooh, who's this chick?"
his name was randy. he- well, let's just say he's insane.
the girl looked up, tilting her head at randy.
"i-i'm jules."
oh. that was her name.
"and what is a fine girl like you doing in a mental hospital? aren't you supposed to be going out, getting drunk and making out with hot guys?" randy chuckled. i rolled his eyes at his idiotic mouth, and continued reading.
"uh, well not exactly. as much as i wish i could be doing that right now, i'm stuck here." she nervously laughed. "well, no shit. anyways, i'm randy. great to have you as a roommate, jules." he smirked. "y-yeah, you too." jules fake smiled.
-
i woke up to guards screaming out of our cell. i must've fell asleep while reading.
"grayson!" jules yelled. i looked around, rubbing my eye trying to figure out what was going on.
"grayson! grayson!" jules yelled again. i look over at her, she looked terrified.
"what?" i said with concern. "whatever you do, do not move. not one bit. the guards said so. i think one of the patients outside our cell are having a rage attack or something like that." she explained. i widened my eyes then looked out the small window, which i could hardly see out of from where i am. i heard a patient scream with full rage and anger. i heard about 5 guards yell and scream. this rarely happens.
i looked over at jules, who was now quietly crying from all the screaming and banging.
"you good?" i asked. "y-yeah, i'm okay. i'm j-just not good around screaming and stuff. too many memories." she fake smiled. i nodded my head, and looked back out the small window.
but all of a sudden, it breaks. glass was shredded everywhere by a hammer from outside.
"what the fu..."
"you fucking lunatics! sitting in a room all day, doing nothing but staring! you all are insane!" an older lady yelled through the window. i widened my eyes.
"go away!" i yelled. she was taken away by the guards again, yelling and fighting them. i looked over at jules. she was having a panic attack.
"jules? jules?" i got up slowly over to her. she was hypervenilating. "jules, calm down." i said smoothly. i didn't want to panic her then she already is.
she was sobbing, breathing heavy, looking into space. "jules, come on. it's okay." i rubbed her shoulder. after 15 minutes, she closed her eyes and breathed in and out. "just breathe. it's alright." i comforted her. she calmed down, but she wouldn't stop crying.
"g-grayson, i can't do this."
"what?"
"i can't fucking BE HERE!" she screamed. i backed up a bit and raised my eyebrows.
"i know. i know. you'll be okay." i put my hand back on her shoulder. she pushed it away and sobbed. "no, grayson. i can't do this. being here is making everything worse. i can't live in this FUCKING environment."
i stayed away then walked back to my bed.
"i thought that too, jules. when i first came here,"
i gulped and looked at her, but she had her face buried in her arms. "it sucks and i know. i've been here for 5 years and it doesn't get any better." i explained.
she looked up at me.
"why was i born like this? like a complete mess, a complete piece of shit?"
"you're not. it's your mindset. look, tell me something that makes you feel better." i gave a small smile. she thought for a few seconds. "oh, writing for sure." she smiles. "but i can't write anymore." she frowned. my face lit up and i smiled. "i love writing. here, i have an extra notebook. you can have it." she looked up at me. i pulled out the extra notebook out of the desk drawer and handed it to her. she smiled and looked at it. she looked back up at me.
"thank you so much, grayson. expressing my thoughts on paper is much better than to a person. i've been to therapy for 5 months, but it didn't work." she opened the notebook, looking at the clean pages.
"i'm glad it helps." i laid down on my bed and stretched.
"are you tired?" jules asked. "a bit. i'm going to go to bed for tonight." i said.
"oh, okay. goodnight, grayson." jules said softly. "goodnight, jules."
