nerd.

trente-huit

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Arielle Evans 

My phone rings on Monday morning as I am getting dressed, and I quickly pull on a pair of shorts before awkwardly hobbling over and swiping my thumb across the screen.

"Hullo?" I say, my voice still groggy from just waking up.

"Arielle, it's Harry." Harry sighs from the other end of the line.

"Oh." I squeak. "Harry. What's up?"

"I am going back to England." Harry announces, and I suck in a breath, a whoosh of emotions overtaking me.

"What? Why?" I demand, raking a hand through my hair.

"Too much drama here for me, I suppose." Harry says, and I roll my eyes.

"No, Harry, you can't leave." I plead, although I am embarrassing myself beyond belief.

"Arielle, my flight's already booked. Today will be my last day at Liberty High. I just wanted to let you know in case I don't get to see you at school." Harry sighs.

"I'll find you at school, but right now I have to go." My voice wobbles, and I wonder if he can tell how much of an emotional train wreck I am right now.

"Okay. Goodbye, Arielle." I hang up without saying goodbye and plop down on the couch in my bedroom, unable to understand my emotions. Harry has always been there for me, ever since he has come here. And now he's leaving me. Just like everyone else.

******

"Arielle?" Mom pokes her head in the room and immediately stiffens when she sees my crying self on the couch. "What's wrong?"

"He can't leave, Mom." I hiccup. "He can't."

"Arielle, what on Earth is wrong? Who is leaving?" Mom asks, sitting on the armrest next to me. She places her hand on my forehead and immediately removes it. "Ari, you have a fever."

"I don't care! I am going to school!" I screech, throwing the blanket off of me and wiping my eyes.

"Arielle Evans, I am not letting you go to school today." Mom shakes her head.

"Mom!" I yell.

"Not a choice, sweetheart. It's what's best for you." she repeats before exiting the room with a confused look on her face. I scream into my pillow about a dozen times before just returning to my crying again.

He can't leave me.

I won't let him.

*

It is one o'clock when I finally gather up the strength to get up and ask my mother to take me. Harry's flight leaves in two hours, according to his text, meaning he must have already left school.

"Mom, can you please at least take me to the airport?" I beg. "He can't leave."

"Arielle..." she sighs, pausing to look at my puppy-dog expression. "Alright, fine. Get ready quickly, though." I give her an enormous hug, wiping my eyes. I run upstairs and brush my hair as well as my teeth before coming back downstairs and literally flying out the door to the car. Mom speeds to the airport, considering his flight leaves soon and he will probably be heading to the gate now. I sprint into the airport and down the hallway towards his gate, the flight information still on my phone.

"Harry!" I scream when I spot the familiar curls. He stops altogether, probably surprised by the sound of my voice. He turns around slowly, as if he is unsure if I am even there. I continue running towards him, and when he spreads his arms, I jump into them, wrapping my legs around his waist. He tightens his grasp around me, holding me in place.

"Don't leave." I whisper. "Please don't leave me."

"I have no purpose here, Arielle." he sighs. I rest my head on his shoulder, my tears streaming down my cheeks and onto his henley.

"Please stay." I beg, my voice a hushed whisper. "Stay for me."

"You're my friend now, not my girlfriend." His words hurt me more than they should, and I don't know why. I loosen my hold around his neck and place my feet on the ground, letting go of him altogether.

"Can't you stay for your friend, then?" I beg. "You can't leave me. Too many people have done that already, and I don't know what I'd do if you left me too."

Harry sighs, running a hand through his curls. "I'm sorry, Arielle. I have to go." He gingerly places a kiss on my forehead, and though he probably thinks I can't hear him, he whispers "I love you." against my skin.

"I love you too." I whisper under my breath, and he smiles at me before grabbing his suitcases. As I turn to leave, I hear him call my name.

He hands me a package, giving me a dimpled grin. "Keep this as a reminder of me." He doesn't give me a chance to respond before he gives me a quick peck on the cheek and he walks away.

He's gone.

*

I open the package when I get home, and a letter falls out first. I slide my letter opener across the top and pull out a worn piece of notebook paper.

My dearest Arielle,

I've never been good at writing letters, nor have I ever been good at writing anything in general, so excuse the bad grammar, punctuation, and execution of ideas in this letter. Also, the excessive smiley faces and sad faces. We may have broken up, but us not being together will never lessen the love I have for you. I am leaving in hopes that when I come back, we can finally be together. No hassles, no conditions, just love. Mason may have broken us, but he didn't break my love for you, for it will always be there. :)

Augustus Waters once told Hazel Grace Lancaster, "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things." I like to think that you are my Hazel Grace, and I am your Augustus Waters, although neither of us have cancer. However, we have been through hell and back together. :/

I hope Mason can protect you as well as I could. I hope he treats you right, and if he breaks your heart one more time, I swear I will fly all the way over just to deck him in the jaw. He deserves a lot more punches than that, considering all that he has put us through. >:(

I never thought this would be us. Me going back to London, you having to stay here without me. Although I doubt that you will miss me in the slightest. If I have ever hurt you, I apologize profusely, because I never had that intention; all I wanted to do was love you. :D

I am leaving, but some day in the future, when our stars finally align and our horizons meet, I will come back for you. :)

I will come back for you, Arielle Jessica Evans.

I will.

Love always,

Harry Styles. <3