Thicker Than Paper

Epoligue

"Are you going to name it after me?"

"First of all, it's not it. It is a boy. Second, why would I ever name my first born son after you?"

"I'm a baseball star, why wouldn't you name your first born son after me? He'd be honored to have my name."

"I hate it when you get cocky."

"I love. You love it. Logan loves it. Ethan loves it. We all love it, Sarah, don't even try and deny it."

"I'm not naming my son after you."

"At least give him the same middle name. Then he'll have one thing going for him. Yeah, now that I think about it I don't want him to have the same first name. That'd be weird. I don't even like reading books where one of the main characters has the same name. It makes me feel...weird."

"Oh, did I tell you? We're going to name him Phoenix."

"You're a bitch."

"A pregnant bitch, so calm your tits or I'm telling mom."

"Wow, she gets pregnant and reverts back to a two-year-old."

"Wow, he signed and he is suddenly the most confident man in the world."

"You're jealous you're now the disappointment of the family."

"I'm the one who's giving mom grandkids first."

"Sorry, you're a slut."

"Sorry, you can throw a ball. It doesn't matter in the real world because I have a brain and don't rely on my athletic ability to hold me afloat."

"You worked at a grocery store until you were my age."

"Is there a reason you called?"

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I proposed to Logan."

"...What the fuck, Phoenix? Why isn't that what you started this whole phone call with?"

"As your brother, I am morally obligated to ask how your unborn child is the first thing during any conversation. And, Ethan and I were just talking about how he's going to try and convince his wife one day to name their kid after him and I remembered you-"

"-you're too kind-"

"So, I was like, yeah. Sarah should name her kid after me."

"Why don't you just do what Ethan's doing and name your own kid after you?"

"Are you kidding? I'm not that narcissistic. Anyway, I already called the parents and told them so it was your turn."

"When, where, why? I need details, Phoenix, and if you can't give them put Logan on the phone."

"I proposed to him with a pizza."

"Let me talk to Logan."

"I'm not kidding. Remember how I told you Jess hooked us up on a blind date and we went to a pizza place? Well, I blindfolded him, got a pizza with 'please' written on it, took off his blindfold got down on one knee and the rest is history."

"Oh my god. You're engaged."

"Yes."

"Holy shit."

"I'm even such a nice brother I called you before I post it on any social media."

"Wow...I'm speechless."

"Why?"

"Phoenix, you're fucking engaged-"

"-Do you always curse in front of your child-"

"-You're actually going to get married unless Logan comes to his sense and leaves you at the alter-"

"-I hope your labor is 24 hours long-"

"-Oh my god, we have so much planning to do. When do you think you guys want to get married? And please tell me you're not one of those players that insists on getting married on a field."

"Tacky."

"Wow, I can't believe my baby brother is getting married. Why'd you decided to do it now?"

"I don't know, I've just felt up. And I love him, I know I do, so I was like 'fuck it' and bought a ring so now I won't be able to catch a flight to see your child be born, by the way."

"I'll face time you. Wow, congrats, P."

"Thanks."

"Wait, he did say yes, right?"

"Bye, Sarah."

"No, wait!"