You Outshine the Morning Sun

Lin

           

When we got home, Cam stormed straight off to her room.  When I had gone into the bathroom at Pippa's, she'd told me she didn't like that I was reading to Molly.  It didn't help that Knuffle Bunny was one of our favorite stories.  She loved when I read it to her.  Seeing Molly curled up with me had obviously made her jealous.  I wanted to help Molly, but I also didn't want to upset my own daughter.

I let her be for a while, knowing she needed some space.  I busied myself around the house, cleaning up and putting dishes away.  Soon, it was 6:00 and time to head to the theatre.  I knocked gently on her door and poked my head in.

"You ready to go?"

"I don't want to go.  I want to stay here," she told me.  Apparently she was still angry.

"Cam, you know you can't do that," I told her patiently.  "Your grandparents are with your cousins tonight.  You can't stay home alone."

"But I'm ten years old!" She pointed out.

"I'm not leaving you here alone for four hours," I reiterated.  "Now find your shoes and meet me at the door in 5 minutes."

A few minutes later, there was no sign of her so I knew we were going to have to do this the hard way.  Cam could be an incredibly stubborn child when she was angry.  It was very hard to reason with her.  I pushed her door open and found her in the same spot.

"Let's go, Cam," I told her firmly.

"No," she told me flatly.

"Excuse me?" I asked her.

"I don't want to go to the theatre and have to hang out with her!  She's so annoying!"

"Sweetheart, we'll talk about this more later, but we have to go.  I can't be late."

"I don't care if you're late to your stupid show," she spat.  I sighed and crossed the room, wishing she wasn't being so difficult.  I gripped her upper arm and pulled her up to her feet.  She was fighting me, so I worked my way behind her and started pushing her towards the door.

"Camila Luz Miranda," I said in a warning voice.  "March."

I gave her a quick swat on the bottom.  Not enough to hurt, but enough to get her attention and let her know I was done with her game.

"Ow!" She complained, wriggling loose from my grip.  Finally, she started walking by herself, her arms crossed.  I told her to grab her backpack and we headed for the door.  She trailed behind me several steps as she followed me down the stairs and out the door.  We were silent on the subway ride there.

Cam still had a frown on her face as we reached my dressing room.  I knew homework would be like pulling teeth with her bad mood.  I started organizing a few things in my dressing room as she put on her headphones and started to zone out.  After I had changed into my costume I knelt down in front of Cam and asked her to press pause.  She reluctantly took her earbuds out and looked at me, still frowning.

"I know you're upset, but I need you to be a big girl right now," I told her.  "I was just reading a story to Molly.  That doesn't mean we can't still read together."

"I know," she said with attitude.

"So what's the problem?" I asked her.

"I don't know," she told me.

"Right," I said, looking away for a moment.  "Do you have much homework?"

"Yes," she said, and I sighed.

"Alright.  I'll come back at intermission to see if you need any help with your reading.  Why don't you get started on your homework now before it gets too late and you get sleepy."

"Fine," she sighed.  I asked her to put her iPod away for now and she reluctantly complied.  I made sure she'd gotten her homework out and got started before I left to go to hair and make-up.  When I arrived, Pippa was already in her chair, looking perfect already with no make-up.

"Hey," she said.  She leaned over to whisper.  "Is Cam okay?"

I nodded as I sat in my chair.  "I think she just got a little jealous.  Knuffle Bunny is kind of our story. She'll be fine though."

"Okay," she said, smiling weakly.  "Let me know if they need a break from each other for a few days.  Maybe some space would be good."

"Yeah, maybe," I agreed, though I didn't want Cam thinking she could throw a little hissy she didn't something and then be rewarded with a break.

We got through Act I and I headed up to my dressing room to check on Cam's progress.  She hadn't done a thing.  I was going to have to get mean and that wasn't something I enjoyed doing.

"Camila," I said in a warning tone.  "Why haven't you made any progress?"

"Because I'm in a bad mood," she said.

"I can see that," I said, sitting down.  "Did the story upset you that much?  Or is there something else going on?"

She didn't answer me.  "Are you still feeling okay about me and Pippa?"

"If it means having to be around them all the time, no," she said honestly.  "I like it fine with just you and me.  Why do they always have to be around?"

"Well, it's a combination of Pip and I working together and childcare," I told her.  "It's been a lot lately, I know.  So maybe we need to take a break for a few days.  How about you stay home with Abuela or Abuelo and Molly comes to the theatre?"

That seemed to satisfy her a bit, and I could see her forehead start to relax.

"This doesn't mean that every time you're unhappy, you get to be a pain.  I just think a break would be a good thing."

There was a knock at my door and a voice called that I had five more minutes.  I sighed, hating how I wasn't always able to give Cam the attention she needed.  I didn't want to rush off, but I had to get back to the stage.

"Now, take a few deep breaths," I told her.  "Let it all out.  You have nothing to be jealous about.  I love you more than anything, and we will always be together.  Now, can you be a good girl and do your homework?"

She nodded and this time I believed she actually would.  I stood up and kissed the top of her head.  "Good girl.  I'll see you after the show."

I headed back downstairs to play a hero of the American Revolution, feeling less and less worthy to be in the shoes of such a great man.