I Won't Say I'm In Love

Chapter 1

I've never been in love. What's the point? I mean sure I care about people and all that and I love my family and friends but that's not being in love. I don't understand the hype. When people are "in love" they aren't in love with the other person, they are in love with how the other person makes them feel. It's quite sad really, but hey that's life. I know what you must be thinking, what about your parents aren't they in love? Well I'm glad you asked.

When I was nine my dad got sick, really sick. When my mum found out she left him, and me, saying she couldn't handle it. I had to go and stay with my uncle Daniel and his husband Brad. My dad died two months later. That was seven years ago. If she really loved him she wouldn't have left him. As for my uncle Daniel and Brad, well they seem happy and they really care about one another, but it's not love. Or at least I don't want it to be, that way they won't get hurt.

My best friend Ron thinks that it's just because I haven't fallen in love yet. I tell him I never want to, I would never want to hurt someone like that. Ron's real name isn't Ron, that's just what I call him. When we were thirteen he got so obsessed with Emma Watson from Harry Potter that when he found out she was living in America for college he tried to dye his hair red, so she would like him better. It didn't work. He ended up completely destroying his perfectly fine black hair and his mum had to shave it all off. It took forever to grow back and in all that time he was never without a beanie even when we went to the beach.

Our other best friend Gerard said that he looked like Katsumo from The Last Samurai to try to cheer him up knowing that it was Ron's all-time favourite movie, it didn't work. Gerard didn't think that it would hurt his feelings but quickly understood why it did when Ron said not all Japanese people look the same. Gerard apologised and felt really bad, even worse he said he felt like his dad.

To understand Gerard, you need to understand what his dad is like. Gerard's dad is the most racist, homophobic, sexist person you could ever meet. Luckily for us Gerard isn't anything like that. Gerard never agrees with anything his father says and always try to come to the defence of whoever his father is insulting. It never works out that well for Gerard. In fact, Gerard is barely ever at his house and when he is it's only cause his father demands that he is there.

Gerard mainly stays on the trundle bed in my bedroom. My uncles are cool with it, Gerard isn't interested in my parts, if you get what I mean. And before you ask, no Gerard's father doesn't know, and I doubt he ever will. I can see the pain on Gerard's face when his father says something homophobic or calls out something vulgar in public, Gerard always brushes it off saying that he just has to wait it out until he's eighteen then he can cut all ties. Until then it's a good thing that his father works night shifts and isn't big on father son activities. Gerard deserves more, so much more.

Ron and Gerard are my two best friends. Well let's be real they are my only friends. Why surround yourself with masses of people who can walk out of your life whenever they feel like it. Gerard, Ron and I, we depend on one another and at times we are all each other has.