The Life Of An Indian Girl

Broken

Is this how it felt to feel like complete utter crap? The rest of the ride went on in the most absoulute silence. It was a game. For him. I really cant believe my stupidness, was I really this dumb. I saw him flirt with girls in front of my face, but thing was that I didnt give a damn at that time. Now it seems like its all I give a damn about. Sad features were ached on his face and I felt my heart sink into an abyss.

He parks in front of the house. He gets out and jogs to open my door. As he went for the handle,

"Don't. Im able to do it myself," I snarled at him and hurt flashed in his eyes.

"Tarai, don't do this," he says, almost desperately.

I opened my door all by myself, walked past him. His scent had me shiver in delight, but reminded myself that he's not mine. I thrusted the keys in the front door and unlocked it. Letting both of us past it. I set down the keys on the table and turn around crossing my arms over my chest.

I took dangerous long strides towards the black eyed boy, held the collar of his shirt and pulled his face down inches away from mine.

"Was I just a game?" I ask monotone.

RAHUL'S POV

"Was I just a game?" She asks her voice dropping a pitch, as if she feared

She wouldn't love me because I've killed someone. That someone being my best friend, he told me to move on with life with his final breaths but I'm so weak that I drowned myself in nightmares. Arjun told me to be happy but I just couldn't be happy, he was like my brother. I couldn't go ahead with life and I must sound pathetic. Even more if I tell her. She deserves so much more than me, a guy with a clean past, calm and not messed up like I am. She doesn't need a messed up guy like me. She's a beautiful person, full of spirit, love, compassion and she's hard working. I'm just some kid that's drowning in guilt.

Both of us were in my car, driving and joking while heading to a local dinner. But fate had it that a truck driver would loose control of his steering wheel and ram into us. I remember the truck driver trying to frantically signal me to get out of the way but I froze. I couldn't move, I could talk and I couldn't even react to the fact of death staring at me. Arjun was right beside me and I remember him trying to get ahold of the wheel but in vain. It was a matter of seconds before the truck slammed into us and he did something I blame myself for every single day. He covered me and him doing that made him take the blow instead of me. I was supposed to die and sometimes I wish I had joined him. His loyalty, his attitude of saving me no matter what and his brotherly love was something i treasured. However the man I called my brother died in my arms, his face appeared in front of me every night. Nightmares were something I was accustomed to by now and I would always wake up panting and hoping it was only a dream.

I was disappointed every time. Because I did kill my best friend.

Maybe if fate had decided to kill me too I wouldn't go through this every day.

He would always tell me whatever happens, happens for a reason. What was the reason for him to die? He was a great man, but he just had to go. Leaving me alone.

Tarai is the closest I'd been with a person other than family since him.

This is just how crazy I am. Im If I could I would rewind, I'd rewrite the past and Arjun would still be here.

Where as, Tarai? She only took the pain away. Her laugh, her smile, her cheek kisses repaired me day by day. I just couldn't get enough. I wanted to hold her tight and tell her things I would never dare tell any one. She just had that power over me.

And today, when I spotted her at the party. Anger consumed me. The guys were looking at her like she were a piece of meat. They were eye raping her and trust me I couldn't take an other second of it. Her black dress clung to her fit body that held the most perfect curves in all the right places. Her heels had my eyes run her long tan legs hungrily and only hoping to see more. But when that blond came over and asked her to dance, I swear I felt something crack inside me. And I was not going to let her damce with any body else than me. Not that she would want to after the fight in the car and how I didnt return her 'I love you'.