The Life Of An Indian Girl

I Don't Even Deserve You

Hey there! The holidays are close, can't wait! I've still got a few final exams, what about you guys? Have the holidays rolled in for you? So I'm back with a new chapter, this one is shorter than others because the chapter after this one is very important so I really wanted to concentrate on the next one. It's ready, I just need to edit and touch up! I'm excited to post it up. So forgive me if this one is a little fast and short, the next one might shake you emotionally though! Just a little memo/hint/'maybe you want to know' : it's Tarai's POV but it is mostly Rahul that speaks. I also wanted to say a big thanks to all those that read my book and have stuck by me, you're amazing :)

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"I can't undo
         what I've done;
              I can't un-sing
                      a song that's sung.
  And the saddest thing
            about my regret—
I can't forgive me
            and you can't forget."  — Lang Leav
         
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In the midst of seeing the girl clutching onto Rahul, something broke in me. Maybe it was my heart or maybe it was just something else. But I'm sure something broke. On one hand he was trying to push her away gently but I guess she had a vice-like grip because they didn't even realize that I'd left the ice cream shop.

I desperately tried to open my hand bag but my fingers were shaking. There were no tears—yet. However, I could feel them edging closer and closer as the seconds passed. I finally grabbed my car keys and unlocked my car as I slid inside. I was so confused, my mind was going mad and I was scared.

Who was she?

I didn't know but why wouldn't Rahul tell me before? I wasn't the crazy girlfriend that would try prying into his text messages, I trusted Rahul. A lot to be honest.

I know I didn't exactly ask him what was happening, back at the café but it was pretty much self-explanatory. She was older and shit, maybe this was a normal thing. I'm just in high school, Rahul is 20; about to turn 21. What was I even thinking? Thinking we were possible. Maybe I just needed to accept it.

Why does he just have the power of breaking me?

Deep in thought, I closed my eyes.

Maybe I gave it to him.

I exhaled, trying to clam my shaky breaths and a lone tear escaped my eyes.

Suddenly, I heard someone knock on my window.

Him.

Stubbornly, I crossed my arms over my chest and ignored him. I could vaguely hear Rahul call my name but I just sat inside my car trying to block out his voice. With no avail, obviously.

"Fuck," I heard him say, he ran a hand through his hair and looked at me with pleading eyes.

I put the keys in the ignition, I was still shaking but screw this. I couldn't stay here. Not without him looking at me like that.

"Just one fucking minute, please." He said, his hands on the window and he looked away in frustration as he banged a fist lightly on it.

I huffed out a breath and stepped out of the car. Not looking him in the eyes, I could feel his burning gaze on me and he touched my arm. I flinched back, stole a quick glance at him and his deep brown orbs flashed with hurt. He brought his hand back reluctantly. I felt like shit, seeing him hurt like that hurt me even more.

"What?" I asked, I refused to meet his gaze.

"Are you serious?" He questioned back, from my peripheral I could see his eyebrows rising. His voice was thick, full of emotion.

"Very serious, mind you." I said, my attitude showing as I still looked away.

"It's really not what you think, it's my dad... He thought—" he tried to tell me, his head shaking from side to side and he ran a few fingers through his tangled hair.

"What?" I asked, not able to form longer sentences because the anticipation was just too much.

"My father was trying to set us up, her dad was mine's friend so they invited us over. This was before we were together," he said and I raised an eyebrow. He gave me a sheepish look in return.

"I went there and realized that I couldn't do this. Lies and deceit, I just couldn't. I truly meant to tell you, never think otherwise... I'm sorry, baby."

"I don't know what to tell you— All I can say is that I'm all yours, wouldn't want it any other way." he said before leaning down, capturing my lips in a dizzying kiss. He took control, gripping my waist and pushing my back against the car. He bit my bottom lip a little, teasing and shy. I almost forgot about all that happened. Almost.

"You've still got some explaining to do," I said, short of breath as he stole mine.

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This chapter was a filler! Going to post the next one in a few minutes! I told y'all that it was ready! It's sad but hey, I've got to do what I've got to do right?

You're all amazinggggggg.

Meerkatgirl