LOST LOVE ✅

PART : 10 An unanswered Question

Next day

Nandini P.O.V.

Last night was not less than a nightmare for me , i was crying whole night thinking about his painful condition. Why the love makes the person so weak. I was feeling so helpless because i was not able to do anything for him. I was not understanding what I should do to make him happy. He was behaving with me like i am piece of shit and still i was worrying about him. That's called unconditional love where you love the person without any expectations. I was also loving Manik without any expectation because i was sure that he will never stop loving Nandita. I really wanted him to love me back but for me more important was his happiness.

I was taking breakfast sitting at dining area when Ramu Kaka walked there. Next what he told me , i got a heart attack and the spoon dropped down from my hand.

"Koe Manik naam ka ladhka aaya milne aapse , meine unhai hall mein bitha diya (A boy name Manik came to meet you , i made him sit in the hall)"i got up leaving my seat in a shock. "Why he came here to meet me" my mind was just thinking and my heart started beating fast. "He must be came here to again insult me or to warn me"'i was thinking staring at the table.

Leaving my all thought on the side and I walked toward the hall taking slow step. My heart and mind both were just thinking that why he wanted to meet me. I saw him from behind, he was sitting on the couch. I felt my heart was beating fast  and seriously that time i was scared to meet him because his behaviour hurt me. Taking a deep breath closing my eyes , i came in front him and found him lost in his deep thought. I stared at him having concern and love for him in my eyes. "Manik" i called him standing little far away from him. He looked at me having pain in his eyes and like always i got lost in his painful eyes which were asking me to help him.

He got up from the sofa and started walking toward me. He was walking toward me and my heartbeat was becoming fast. He was staring at me having pain in his eyes and next moment i closed my eyes and ready myself to bear his insult because i was sure that he is going to shout on me that's why i made myself ready. "Nandini , i am sorry" listening his words , i opened my eyes in a shock and found him looking at me having guilt and pain in his eyes. I felt like i was dreaming.

"The way I behaved with you and treated you , it wasn't right . I shouted on you and insulted you without any mistake. Whatever i did with you was completely wrong. I shouldn't have taken out my anger on you . Hope you able to forgive me"he was saying looking at me having guilt in his voice and in his eyes. I was staring at him blankly. I could feel that he was really feeling guilty. The way he had behaved me after that I had never thought that he will apologise like this from me.

He paused for a while then continue speaking after taking deep breath. "My anger is not in my control. I myself don't understand that what i do. I can do anything because of my anger that's why i am saying you to stay away from me. I don't have anything to give you. You will only get pain and only pain. The more you will try to come close to me , the more you will get hurt and I really don't want that you should get hurt"he spoke looking at me and for the first i was seeing concern in his eyes for me. His words didn't affect me because i was already to  play with this fire. I was getting little relief because for the first time he was talking with me nicely.

"Ek bat bolu Manik , yeh jo tum bewaja sabh par gussa karte ho. You use to do this because of your pain. Your pain wants to come outside but you are not letting your pain to come out that's why your pain is coming out in the form of your anger. Until you will not let your pain goes out , you won't get peace"i said each and every word confidently  to make him understand and he was looking at me blankly and his next words hurt me a lot.

"Whatever you are telling me , i know this. But the thing is that I don't want peace and i want to live in pain"he paused for a while closing his eyes and few tears drop down from his eyes and my heart cried seeing tear in his eyes. "Because Nandita is also living in pain , how can i move on and live happily when she is living pain. It's not easy for me to move on" he spoke in painful tone looking at me , eyes full of tears. My eyes also brimmed with tears seeing his condition. But I controlled my emotions taking a deep breath because it was not right time to get emotional.

"Manik"i called him putting my hand on his face  and he looked at me like a small baby who was in deep pain but couldn't share his pain with anybody. "Let the pain go , please. I am not saying you to move on forgetting Nandita. I am just saying you to let the pain go because until the pain will not go , you won't able to do anything" i said whatever i wanted to say from such a long time. I could see my words were affecting him. I stopped for a while and waited for his reply. He was just staring at me having pain his eyes while my thumb was constantly caressing his face.

"I don't know who was Nandita but i am sure , she never wanted to see you in pain and hurting yourself. At least for her , stop hurting yourself , try to live your life and let your pain go"i tried my best to explain him. He took few steps backward removing my hand and nodded his head negatively.

"This pain will not go until I won't see her fine in front of my eyes" he said constantly nodding his head and i closed my eyes disappointedly. "you think I didn't try to live my life. I tried so many times and tried so many ways to let my pain go and live happily for my family but nothing helped me out. It's just gave me more pain. Only Nandita can bring light in my dark world , only she can bring smile on my face. My heart will get relief only after knowing that she is fine" he said looking at me having tears in his eyes and closed his eyes painfully.

"Why are you thinking negative , may be she is fine" i said and he opened his eyes listening my words.

"Where she is living , there she can never live happily , nobody can live happily there"he said disappointedly closing his eyes and made sad face.

"If you know , where she is living then why can't you go there and bring her back"i asked confusingly looking at him. Listening my words first he sadly looked on the other side and then looked at me helplessly. My heart cried a lot seeing her helplessness.

"It is not easy to find her there , it is difficult but  I haven't lost my hope" he said making me confused. "Then where she is?" I asked instantly looking at him and he looked at me sadly. "Voh ush narak mein hai , jaha sirf aur sirf dard hai (she is the hell , where there is only and only pain)" he said and his voice chocked because he was crying. His words were making me more confused.

"Where , Manik ?" I asked again looking at him for answer. "Acha hoga ki tum na hi jano" he answered me and started walking toward the door leaving me confused. His words made me hell confused. " where she is , i want to know ?" I thought sitting on the sofa holding my head. I was feeling like my head will get blast thinking about Nandita.

"Everybody is making me more and more confused. But one thing happened good today , he didn't behave with me badly. He talked to me nicely"i though having a small smile on my face because his behaviour was hurting me a lot and finally i got little relief.

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Love Mehak