Weightless

18) Unreality Unfolds

25th of May 2017 (Same day)

Ethan's painkillers are starting to wear off. It's a shame, really. They'd been doing wonders for him. It felt like he could actually smile without a huge amount of effort.

He could really use a dose of them right about now.

Cal had entered the cubicle in a state. His eyes were streaming with tears and his nose was running. As he sobs to Ethan, the words just go over his head. Sentences like 'you were lying to me', and 'I don't want you to die', and 'please fucking talk to me' were spoken with no response.

Stupid. So fucking stupid. He just had to get injured, he just had to. They'd had to cut through his clothing, obviously, and people had seen him. It's so obvious now. Truths had escaped.

So now he must too.

Ethan doesn't know what to say so he doesn't say anything. He just sits and stares, not listening either. No fighting back. Why should he? Anything he says will be put down as a lie. Everything and anything. No point speaking to Cal. His mind as been poisoned with talk of eating disorders and mental illness, of which Ethan doesn't have. He doesn't.

Don't think about it too much. Escape. Escape. Escape.

Yes. He's going to do a Caleb Knight speciality. He's going to run. Because any longer living in this shit existence, getting through another day, listening to everyone, and he's going to kill himself. He will. Because what's the point of continuing his life if others are going to control it when they find out?

And I don't even care that my mind has gotten so dark.

Lily enters. She looks guilty. Ethan wonders why for a second, before realising that she'd probably made this all happen. She'd dropped the bomb of truth and now he had to deal with the aftermath.

I hate you.

Connie walks in, Mollie too, the latter who tries to quieten Cal who is all over the place. Ethan doesn't ever think he's seen Cal cry so much.

As people have entered, Ethan tries to leave the cubicle. He gets up from the bed and feels his weak legs disagreeing with the movement but doesn't allow them any respite. Trying to walk is challenging.

Lily tells him to sit, that he still needs time to recover from the fall.

"Don't you dare try to tell me what to do!" Ethan snaps. It's the first thing he says and it's said with spite. "How can you even stand yourself, after what you've done?"

The words sound spat out. It doesn't sound like him. He sounds unrecognizable.

Because I am unrecognizable.

Connie steps in, her voice loud over the sound of Cal's helpless crying. "Right, that's enough."

Lily looks at Ethan, hurt and ignoring Connie's effort to calm the situation. "I'm trying to help you!" Her expression is clouded by guilt but anger is added. Perhaps she'd been expecting him to bend down and kiss her fucking feet or something, but no. He hates what he knows she's done.

"You promised, Lily, you promised," Ethan says, putting unnecessary emphasis on every single word and clenching his fists. "Why'd you break that? That's not what friends do!"

"Yes, it is. I'm doing what's best for you, you're just unable to see that. I swear, I honestly swear, that I'm not doing this to hurt you, Ethan."

"Save your excuses," Ethan spits out. He gets up, immediately feeling his head spin. He won't stay bedridden under their rules. "Let me through."

Lily gives him a look of challenge. "No."