Be my cannoli (Male Protagonist x Male Character)

We'll bang, okay? (Male Shepard x Garrus Vakarian) (smut) pt.1

Be prepared for a lot of Turian kisses. 💕 Also, lots of cursing and some alien sex 👽

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Shepard was pissed. Like, seriously. Who knew dying, working with a terrorist organization, and having your boyfriend dump you after not seeing him for "months" would make you feel like shit? Not to mention getting an email from him that was basically "Sorry, but fuck you, dummy. I moved on while you were dead for two years." It tends to suck the soul outta somebody.

Shepard used to be a patient goody two-shoes that wanted to help everybody, and always make the nice choices, but goddamn, he sure as hell wanted to say "fuck you" to anyone that pissed him off. In fact, that's how he responded to Kaiden's uppity email. It didn't feel amazing, but it didn't feel bad, either.

His new crew sure was pissy, too. Anytime he'd try to talk to Jacob he'd just be like "I'm not big on forcing these talks." What the fuck was he supposed to do? After that, he just avoided the armory. Fuck Jacob. Miranda, well...she kinda made his shit-list, too. Acting like he had to prove himself, thinking it was a waste to bring him back to life...fuck you, too, Miranda. He understood why Tali and Jack called her a bitch. She sure made it hard to try and be friends.

Maybe the fact that they were Cerberus is what influenced his aversion to them. Their bad attitudes, sure, but Cerberus had done some bad shit, too. Your organization doesn't get labeled as a terrorist group by accident.

Besides those two assholes, he liked the rest of his crew. Samara was patient, Tali was awesome, Grunt was...okay, but his talk of mutilating Turians made him uneasy, and he definitely sympathized with Jack. He understood her anger and shared it. You could actually call them friends and Jack wouldn't try to choke you with your own foot.

Mordin was kinda cool, but he wasn't allowed to discuss his work on the genophage in front of him. Wrex was one of his closest friends and convincing him on Virmire that destroying Saren's cure was the right choice had made him feel like shit. So, no talk of the genophage.

Legion had his support, no matter what he did. Shepard found him adorable and the fact that he patched himself up with his old armor made him feel like they were connected in a way. He could talk to him about anything without judgment or anyone questioning his decisions. Can he just hug him??

Thane was a pretty neat guy, too. Kinda hot, what with that conversation of him talking about remembering the taste of someone else's tongue in your mouth. And that raspy voice. Damn. The dying part put a damper on any ideas he had about that, however. He'd rather get attached to him as a friend instead of a lover. Less heartbreaking.

Speaking of attractive voices, the amazing Garrus Vakarian was probably Shepard's favorite person in the entire universe at the moment. Meeting him on Omega was like a breathe of fresh air after being trapped on an elevator with an Elcor. Not that Shepard had anything against Elcor. They were probably the friendliest species he ever met, despite their monotonous speech. They just smelled like old dirty socks. Not their fault. Anyway. One unexpected side effect of his death resulted in Garrus wanting to come on more missions with him, and supporting his decisions, no matter what. If Shepard felt like he could do anything, then it was all thanks to Garrus. They were already friends before his premature death, but recently Garrus had become somewhat...clingy. Not that Shepard minded. It was better than all the other people distancing themselves from him for something he had no control over. He doubted he could just leave, and he didn't trust anyone else to take care of the Collector problem. Not like he could.