Fullest Apartment

Chapter One: Straight People are Scary

I stared at the gays in front of me with my cold dead eyes, previously described in the prologue, if you didn't know.

"Why are you guys naked and in front of my room? Did you have an orgy and not invite me?" I questioned, wanting to cry at the thought of missing out on our classic family fuck time.

"Nervos flooded the basement with butterfly blood again, so we need some clean clothes," Blush explained, "oh, and we did, but you're kind of irrelevant so we forgot to ask."

Grrr. That made me mad. I'm the classic protagonist, so of course I'm the most important one in this house! I would have made a sassy remark that would get 1,000 reblogs on Tumblr, but I'm soooo socially awkward and introverted that I just threw up on the floor!!! Luckily, Aztrima was there to lick it up.

"Ooo~ lick it up baby~" Blush mOANED while watching Aztrima lick my weird Thanos-ass throw up. Jokes on her, I ate a whole bucket of purple cummies the night before. You know, for like a social experiment or whatever.

"Ugh, fine. But you guys owe me," I growled, stomping back into my dimly lit room. I never turned on the lights, because moths are disgusting gremlins who will flock to any source of light they can find.

I took a few fursuits that I could spare from my closet before throwing it towards the people stationed outside my door. My roommates Blush, Gramer, Mumble, and Kaitlyn all put them on in unison like we practiced at youth group.

"Ugh, this is NOT skinny. How am I supposed to show some cleavage wearing THIS of all things?" Kait complained.

"Damn Daniel! My name Jeff XD" Mumble said with a dab. Her eyes then proceeded to roll into the back of her head as she began to converse with the ruler of Hell himself, Satan.

"Woah, what the frick!" Gramer yelled, not at the obvious satanic shit going on but at the fursuit I had given him, "God would NOT like this shade of pink."

I cried and began to run down the stairs, only to miss a step and fucking catapult into the dining room table. I cried even harder after realizing that there wasn't even a hot anime boy to help me pick up my fallen yaoi books.

"It's 8 AM and you've already broken my termite farm. Great," Nervos complained, watching as millions of small insects escaped into small holes in the floor. Aztrima attempted to lick up the termites, but unfortunately they were too fast to vore, similar to children.

I looked down at the fetus girl splayed our across the floor. It was funny. How we met, I mean. The memories of our first meeting suddenly overwhelmed my mind, almost like I was having a flashback like in some shitty sitcom. It all started with a murder...
—
Me XD: kyaaaa what does protagonist-chan mean!!!! i'm on the edge of my seat!!! >o<
Sans-senpai: but author-chan, aren't chu writing the story??
Me: :ooo I almost forgot!! sowwy my rainbow waffles but I have school >~< so author-chan can't make long chaptwers :((((
Sans-senpai: it's okie author-chan I still wuv you uwu *nuzzles and kisses*
Ryoma-senpai: grrr get your hands off of author-chan you baka pervert!!! *le smacks with tennis racket*
Me: >///< bois don't fight over meh plz!!! anywayssss bye~~~~ <3 <3 :3