Grey Skies

Chapter 6

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Chapter Six

Some people just never give up.

I find Sarah in my room, playing with my window curtains as she speaks on the phone. Her voice is low, but excited. I set my stuff down on my dresser slowly and don't peel my eyes off her. She finally sees me and I mouth the words, "who is it?" Instead of answering me, she turns her back to me and runs her fingers over her neck.

"Hey, I'll call you back later." She glances at me again, and then smiles into the phone, "Love you too."

"Who was that?" I ask as soon as she hangs up.

"Cory," she says nonchalantly.

"Cory?"

"Yeah, he just called to say hi."

I snort. "Yeah that's what he wants. What was it this time? His phone broke? He lost it? No signal? But let me guess, he loves you so much and can't picture the two of you apart. He can't wait for you to come back."

"Would you just lay off of Cory? He's a good guy Iris."

I sigh, "Sar, the guy is an idiot and he doesn't love you."

"Yeah and you're some expert. Look just because you..."

"What? Just because I what?" I ask. "Don't hold back now."

She turns fully toward me and crosses her arms over her chest, "Just because you can't control your own life doesn't mean you have to try and control mine."

I stare at her in disbelief. "Fine." I grab my keys and walk toward the door, "But don't come to me when he leaves you. Again."

Sarah and I don't usually fight. Actually, we've never had a serious fight...until now. As I walk to my car, I breathe heavy and my hands shake. I'm not sure where I'm going, but anywhere but this house, this street, would do. I park my car a couple blocks down, in a quiet neighborhood without another soul in sight and rest my head against my car seat. Even my best friend thinks I'm a loser, I think, and then scream. I scream again, and it turns into a sob. I go to cover my mouth and with each cry my body shakes completely, and I can't stop. And I can't help but wonder how it is that I got here, with a life that I'm embarrassed to acknowledge.

How can this even get worse, I wonder.

How can you take me any lower than I already am? And then it comes to me, and I want to cry again because this is much worse. I reach for my phone and dread the fact that I have to go to him for help, but my shaking fingers have a mind of their own and find his name.

I want to start. Now. I click send.

Almost immediately I receive a response: ??

I type, I want to start training now. I want control of my life again, I almost add.

Give me thirty minutes. Meet at the stadium. I'm glad Grey.

I throw my phone back onto the seat beside me and run my hands through my hair. I have an unsettling feeling about starting this all over. Like I'm messing with some natural order, some destiny that God has set for me that under no circumstance should involve Soccer. And damn it, I don't want to piss off God or whoever holds my fate in his hands. But I don't want to live the rest of my life with an ankle brace in the glove compartment of my car. And I don't want to dodge my family whenever they ask about what I want to do. I don't want to hate my life, or my future, or my best friend even if she is right.