Grey Skies

Chapter 23

Note: 

Hi guys! A couple of life updates: I recently graduated from undergrad and in a couple of weeks I will be starting law school (I know-- I'm completely shitting myself). Things have been crazy and I have let myself fall behind on my writing so much. But this will always be my passion. I decided to reread the Final Season and this story in order to remind myself of why I started this story about Iris to begin with. This book will be picking up in the next couple of chapters, but this is just a transition chapter to ease everyone back into it, including me.  

I've also been giving it some thought, and I think I will start another story once I finish this one. I want it to be a cop/detective kind of story and I want to practice a little bit more with some action/romance genres. Be on the look out!

Chapter Twenty-Three

I'm sitting on the porch of Davis' cabin staring at the painted handprints. Davis' small hands are in a bright orange that has since dulled and I can't believe that they are the same hands that are currently wrapped around me. I would have liked to know Davis when he was young, and I would've liked to see him fishing with his Dad or playing soccer professionally. 

I can't imagine never having it again. I can't imagine losing my dad and losing soccer in the same breath, and of course, losing my dad would be worse, but losing both would be losing most of me. 

I turn around to face Davis and cross my legs. He sits up and smiles at me. 

"How did you know to leave it?"

"Leave what?"

"Playing soccer." 

Davis smiles and rubs the back of his neck. "I didn't really have a choice, did I? It was soccer or my dad. School or my dad. I'd do it all over again just to see him again." 

Davis smiles and shields his eyes with his hand. I scoot over and wrap my arms around him. I try to rack my brain with things to make him feel better, but what do you say to a person who has lost someone. That it'll be okay? That they're in a better place? At least they're not in pain anymore? We hear it so much now that I don't know if it's comforting anymore. Then again maybe it does help. When I think of my grandma, spending her days in a nursing home unable to talk or eat on her own, I have to believe there is something better than that. There has to be some field with purple Irises out there. There has to be something better than all of this.  

I kiss the top of Davis' head. "You know, you probably could've gone professional. The next Aguero." 

Davis laughs and sits up, "Coaching is enough for me. It's almost better than playing."

"I can't imagine that."

"And it brought me to you." 

~~~

In the car, I keep thinking about Davis and Meg. It's not something I want to think about really. But here I am, thinking about Meg and her clear skin and thick hair and about how she's probably been to the cabin as well. Oh god, and she's probably been in Davis' bed and those sheets weren't clean. 

I rest my head against the window. I bet Meg never stinks. She probably smells like flowers and fruits and every other pleasant thing on this planet. And her teeth are straight and unnaturally white. I don't think she's ever had bad breath or a cavity. 

"What are you thinking about?" Davis asks.

"Cavities," I say. 

"What?" 

"I can't remember the last time I went to the dentist." 

"You're supposed to go every six months."

"Do people really do that?"

Davis laughs. "I do." 

"Have you ever had a cavity?" 

"Nope." At a red light, he turns to me and opens his mouth wide enough to show me his teeth. 

When we pull into Davis' driveway, I can't bring myself to leave the car. I feel like all of my thoughts are swimming around in here and once I leave I'll lose them for good, and I'll lose the courage to say any of it to Davis. Davis comes back in when he sees that I haven't moved. 

"What's wrong?" he asks. 

"I might love you, but I'm afraid you'll leave me." 

He grabs my hand and runs his thumb against the back of it. "I'm not gonna leave you." 

"You left Meg." 

Davis rests his head against his seat and closes his eyes. "Leaving Meg was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But I didn't leave Meg because of you. I didn't even leave Meg because of Meg. Meg has always been in my life, and she was there when I lost my dad. It was easy to be with her, and that's why I stayed." 

He turns and smiles at me. 

"I will always love Meg, but even when I loved her most something was still missing. At first, I thought maybe it was me. That I was just missing my Dad. And then a couple years go by and I'm not missing my dad anymore, but something still isn't there. And you come along, this big pain in my ass.'

"Hey!" 

"And I start to feel all of these things. Of course, most of the time it was frustration and anger, but I cared about what happened to you. I wanted you to be the best, and I knew you could be. I focused on your potential so much that I forgot about what I was missing in my relationship." He shakes his head and lets go of my hand. "When I saw you in that cafe, all of those feelings came back."

"I had no idea you were interested in me." 

"I needed to address those feelings, even if it meant hurting Meg." 

"I'm just afraid you'll leave again," I say. 

"I wouldn't leave unless you asked me to," he says. 

"Why would I ever ask for that?" 

He grins and kisses me lightly. "I love you, Iris."

"Do you?"

"I really do."

~~~

I make eye contact with Austin at the library. He decides to sit on the opposite side, but I catch him looking my way. I decide to go and sit with him anyway. I may be with Davis, but Austin was my friend, and I miss my friend. 

He pretends to not notice that I'm there. He's flipping so fast through his textbook that I don't think he even knows what he's reading. 

"Are you going to hate me forever?" I ask. 

He looks up at me. "I don't hate you, Iris."

"Then?"

He laughs and rubs the back of his neck. "Who's the guy, anyway?" 

I play with the pages of the notebook. "His name is Tyler."

"Sounds lame." 

I smile. 

He finally stops laughing and chews on his bottom lip. "Tyler. I officially hate all Tylers."

"I miss you," I say. 

"Of course you do. I'm no Tyler." 

I laugh and shake my head. He was no Tyler. There was nobody like Davis and I was so scared that I was going to love him.  He has given me everything. He has given me my life back. And I don't think you can ever come back from loving him. I don't think I ever will.