Grey Skies

Chapter 15

UPDATE: I'm so sorry for taking this long to update, I'm a terrible person. I do have some personal news though! During this break I ended up going to state competition with my mock trial team(so fun!) and got accepted into Cornell University! That's where I was for the past 7 weeks and will officially be moving in in a week! Anyway, I'm so sorry that it took me months to update but hope you enjoy! Thank you for all the kind messages(: love you all!

Chapter Fifteen

Sometimes preparation is a complete waste of time. We spend all this time preparing for certain moments in our lives and when they come we're stuck. We throw all the preparation out of the window and mumble our words and play with our hands. Instead we should have invested in some running shoes and a plane ticket to a secluded island.

"Hey, I was beginning to think you fell off the face of the earth."

I'm not that lucky.

I force a smile, "What are you doing here?"

"Enthusiasm noted." My smile slips and Austin stands up and wipes his shorts off. "I just wanted to see you. You haven't been answering my calls. What's going on?"

There's always a moment between two people that changes them forever. It's the day people look back on happily or the day we try and erase from our memories. But the truth is, these moments are impossible to forget whether they are good or bad, and no matter how many times we say it, that it's all in the past and forgotten, we're reminded of them by the little things we once overlooked. They're impossible to just toss into a pile of insignificant things in the back of our minds. Today was mine and Austin's day, our moment.

"Do you want the truth?"

"Does anyone ever want the truth?" he asks with a smile and then sobers up when I barely crack a smile. "Of course."

"I've been um, avoiding you." Austin walks down the steps and walks closer to me. Each step matches the loud thud of my heart. My words feel chained to the tip of my tongue. "A lot has happened over the past few weeks and I'm still not sure how to tell you, so I've been hiding."

"You can tell me anything, I won't be upset."

I doubt that.

Austin sits down on the last step and pats the space beside him. The small smile he gives me makes my stomach settle slightly because I know it's as genuine as his words. He wouldn't be upset. Austin wasn't the type, and that should have made me want him even more. It sort of did.

See Austin was the kind of guy to hold on to, the one to never let go, and here I was sending him into the wind. I wasn't much of a gambler, but this was playing at high stakes. I had liked Austin for so long, and now I was throwing away that history and familiarity on the chance that something was there between Davis and me. Something substantial and exciting and worth it enough to give the possibilities that come with Austin up.

"Look Austin..."

"Oh that's never good is it? In the movies only crappy stuff comes after the word look."

I smile, "I really like you. I've really liked you for a long time, but I'm seeing someone else. I'm giving it a chance, and the reason I've been avoiding you is because I wasn't sure how to tell you and what to say."

He lets out a short laugh through his nose and lets his head fall down slightly. I watch his clasped hands, wanting to reach out and touch them, wanting to say sorry again but thinking better of it.

"I think you waited this long because you don't know what you want. And I think you've been avoiding me because you're afraid that what you want is me," he says, glancing up at me and I stay silent. "But I can't decide that for you can I? I have to let you make the decision on your own, and I'll be here if you change your mind."