Light Blue

Part xv- Endless Possibilities

15

Oscars POV

I walk back into the room and close the balcony doors behind me and I watch Emily kick off her heels and dump more shopping bags on her bed. My hands are sore from holding onto the sheet and I am sure my face is flushed; but not just from the exertion. I let my eyes settle on Emily and I purse my lips. She’s the last person I wanted to see at the moment.

“Oscar, we’re going to dinner. I am starving.”

She looks up at me as she removes her sunglasses and she raises one eyebrow.

“Are you listening Oscar?”

I jolt and look at her properly and almost in disbelief. Does she even care that she just went off like that? I merely nod my head, not trusting myself to say something. Anger bubbles within me. Whenever I’m with Emily, all I feel is sadness, annoyance and anger. She rolls her eyes and a flash of annoyance is visible in her eyes. She walks over to the bathroom door.

“I’m just going to freshen up, and then we’ll go.” She pauses for a second and her gaze lands on an object on the bed. I look as well and my breath hitches.

“Is that your camera?” she asks, twirling a lock of hair in her fingers. I refrain from pulling a face at the gesture.

“Yes,” I reply coolly. She shrugs.

“I’ve never seen it before. How unusual.”  and she snaps the bathroom door shuts. I let out a sigh of relief and sprint back to the balcony. I lean over the railing. The sheet is lying abandoned on the balcony below but neither Amelia nor Delilah are there. I sink down into one of the metal chairs and shut my eyes. It was almost comically stressful as Delilah had climbed down and I laugh to myself.

Then Delilah’s face appears in my mind, an expression of care from earlier as I had sat on the bed crying. I bang the table and groan, leaning back in my chair. I felt weak and foolish inside, yet I don’t know where it had come from. It only took one question for me to fall apart and the one person there to help was Delilah. The words that she had said to me then, they were kind, caring and sweet and I could still feel the touch of a finger on my cheek wiping away a tear. Emily had never done that before. But then, I never cried in front of her, but the chances of her doing anything remotely like that was slim. There’s something about Delilah, makes it okay for me to be me, and she had managed to make me feel something so strong that I had never felt to extent to with Emily. I drum my fingers on the table.

It couldn’t possibly be love?

I gulp at the thought. It was impossible, surely. I wait for the war of the morals in my head between what was right and wrong but they had disappeared. I stand up from the table as I acknowledge this and stare out into the distance. No. I wouldn’t cheat on Emily- she would never cheat on me. Why am I even thinking these sorts of things? Delilah and I are only friends. We had made that clear and lovers don’t appear after two days. ‘But you’re in the city of love and there is such thing as love at first sight’ an annoying voice chimes in. Well that was what I thought when I met Emily. But then I had gone with my head, this time, my heart was making the decisions. I stamp my foot in frustration and peek over the balcony again. It’s still empty. I run a hand through my hair. ‘No, no, no’ I tell myself. There are too many bridges to mend before I could cross any rivers. I had to sort things out with Emily (without making too much of an uproar at dinner) and I had to make it up to Delilah for earlier (as friends).Even though she had constantly said it was alright, the guilty part of me told me it wasn’t. My thoughts go into overdrive as I think up apologies and my heart beats fast of spending time alone with her. I lean against the railing and I hang my head. Too many sides, too many thoughts, too many feelings and my mind feel like a battlefield. Why does love have to feel like a battlefield?