Just give me a reason✔️ ~ Mileven drama and smut~

Chapter 12

He took a deep breath, stepping closer to her, his hands twitching to hold her, his eyes huge and wet and honest. She didn't back away, staring up at him, like a deer caught in the headlights, everything she'd thought and assumed about him suddenly dissipating like vapor in a breeze.

"I love you, El. I love you more than anything in this entire shitty world. " His voice was softer, his brows furrowed like he was in pain. "I would... I would throw myself off of the roof of our fucking building before I would ever cheat on you. There's no one else I could want more than you. It's only you..."

His eyes were wet, pleading silently for her to believe him, his voice soft as he breathed out the truth that lived in his very soul.

"It's always been you, El. I thought you knew that."

The rage faded and she leaned against the table, suddenly unsure. If he wasn't cheating then what the fuck was going on? There was no mistaking the hurt and honesty in his eyes as he said those words and it felt like the world she'd built was crumbling.

"Then what... why did you do that? What did I do, Mike?" Her own voice filled with tears, frustration replacing the anger. "What did I do? Why did you just... stop wanting me?"

"I've never stopped. Ever...." He sighed. "I just... I forgot how much you meant to me. I was so excited about the future that I got stupid and lazy and I hurt you. I'm sorry," he repeated. "I'm so sorry for letting you think I didn't love you."

"The future?" She was still caught on the word, unsure of what he meant.

He deflated and she lost it and almost laughed at him. His limbs were so long that when he slouched he always looked like one of those dancing inflatable tube guys they had at strip smalls. It was one of the things she'd always loved about him. She bit back a smile and tried to focus back on their serious conversation, ignoring the warm glow just seeing him be himself put in her heart.

"Yeah... that's why I was working so much. I wasn't trying to ignore you or avoid you by working, I was..." he licked his lips nervously. "I was working to pay off something that I bought. Something that I bought for you."

She opened her mouth to ask the obvious question but he didn't let her, quickly stumbling into the rest of his apology.

"So I worked and I was tired all the time, El, I was tired and cranky and I took it out on you instead of being honest. I would get annoyed when you would ask me why because... I mean, I was doing it all for you!" He smiled fakely and then winced. "But there wasn't any way for you to know that. Any of it. Because I wouldn't let myself tell you. I felt guilty because I felt like I was doing all of it for you but I couldn't tell you. So I stopped looking at you," he admitted. "Because it made me feel better about lying but that wasn't your fault either. So I'm sorry, for not talking to you or appreciating you or holding you when you needed me to. For not touching you." His jaw clenched and unclenched. "God, I wanted to... I missed you. All of you. And I'm sorry for that too."

El reached up to tug her missing necklace again, gazing at him and feeling very confused, wanting to accept his apology but needing to know why still.

"But what did you—" She tried to ask again but he still wasn't done.

"And then you did what... I guess what anyone would do. You tried to get my attention." He swallowed thickly. "And that sucked, I'll admit it. Seeing that guy with his hands all over you? After I'd been working so hard? It pissed me the fuck off, El. You knew it would. You knew you would get a reaction."

"I'm sorry, Mike." Tears flooded her eyes, the apology more solid this time. "I'm sorry. I didn't want him to touch me, I wanted it to be you. I didn't want him... I'm sorry."