Worth Protecting | Lapidot Human AU

8: How Stupid Can You Be?

     "Lapis!" I call out as I walk through the dark house. My clock said two in the morning but for some reason there was a loud banging sound. I click on the light to the living room to find Lapis playing my Nintendo Switch. "Um, Lapis? You okay?" I ask sitting next to her and rubbing my eyes from exhaustion. "How do you play these?! They're like impossible!" She pouts in frustration. I shrug and lean back on the couch. "I've been playing then for years, I guess I just got good at them. Why are you awake it's two in the morning." I say, Lapis just shrugs and tries to focus on the game. "I couldn't sleep, had a nightmare." She says, I look down at the coffee table to see my stack of programmed games open and scattered across the table. "Hey I told you not to touch those!" I yell, sitting up and putting them back in their cases. "I couldn't help myself! Plus they're really good!" She says with a smile and grabbing the case for the game. The game she was playing was a racing game, I modeled it after the Grand Theft Auto franchise with a more fast a furious style of game-play. I didn't have amazing software though so it's kind of play dough looking. "They aren't done yet!" I shout standing up and turning off the console. Lapis puts the controller down and huffs in defiance. "You're no fun." She pouts leaning back on the couch.
     I look over at her, noticing the scar on Lapis' stomach showing just under her crop top. I sit back down without saying anything, I couldn't help but stare and feel guilty. Lapis seems to notice my discomfort, she smiles and lifts my head up for my eyes to meet her gaze. "I'm fine Peridot, I've had worse than this." She says softly with a smile. My eyes can't help but glance back down. I couldn't help but feel guilty, she was stabbed because she failed to take my car from me. I know what she was doing was wrong and I shouldn't feel bad for defending my property, but now that I got to know Lapis and her situation I wish I just gave the car up. "When did you get that tattoo?" I ask, trying to shift my attention away and change the subject. "Oh, the one on my back? When I turned eighteen, since it was finally legal for me to. I always liked water and I thought it would be amazing to fly around with wings made of water." She says, looking off as if she is daydreaming about it. I burst out laughing "Whats so funny?!" She asks hitting my arm playfully. "Thats not logically possible! Water cant assist in aerial circumstances!" I laugh more, I know she was probably referencing fantasy but the logic of that makes no sense. "It doesn't need to be logical dummy." Lapis teases, ruffling my hair. "Don't call me a dummy! Dummy!" I yell back playfully, ruffling hers as well.
"Dorito Hair!" She yells back, poking my forehead. "Clod!"
     "Woah wait, what?!" Lapis says laughing, holding up her hands to stop the physical attacks. "Yeah! Clod!" I yell, crossing my arms with superiority thinking I won. "Whats a clod?" She asks laughing more, my confident demeanor now fades away. "I-" I try to explain but can't seem to find the words, I felt myself sinking into the couch in embarrassment. "It's just something I call people sometimes, it's like idiot for me." I say softly, looking down at the floor. "That's so cute!" Lapis says, her laughter slowly dying down. She snorts when she laughs, it's adorable. "You know, you're cute when you blush." Lapis teases, breaking me back to reality and causing the heat on my face to intensify. "I uh-!" I stammer over my words, only making Lapis tease even more. I feel Lapis' hand slide over mine, her eyes lock with me own. She turns her body to face me, causing our knees to touch. I feel my heart start to race as she moves closer to me. In my panic I back up right as she does, causing both of us to fall onto the floor. I stare up at her ocean blue eyes, the heat on my face overwhelming at this point. Her hands on each side of me as she holds herself slightly above me to prevent her from landing on me. She looks down at me, her hair framing her face. Must escape! I quickly get up and run to the bathroom shutting the door.

Lapis' P.O.V
     I stare down into Peri's pretty emerald eyes. She's really cute, her messy hair, her smile, that cute blush! I didn't wanna admit it but, I'm totally crushing on this nerd. All I've ever done is hurt her and put her in danger. Yet she is still so caring and compassionate to me. She makes me feel special and keeps trying to do everything to make me feel like I belong here. Whenever she says anything sweet about me it gives me butterflies, her laugh does too, and her touch. She makes me feel different than anyone ever has, even Jasper when we first started dating. I wanna tell her how I feel and how much I like her, but she friend zoned me at the beach so bad. Why did I even try to kiss her?! It's obvious she doesn't like me back. It's not like she was going to kiss me back! How stupid can you be Lapis? Peridot's blush and embarrassed squeak snaps me back to reality. I was about to say something to break the silence. But Peridot shoves me back and gets up, running into the bathroom and slamming the door. Great, just perfect. I sigh and stand back up. That did not look good out of context, I hope she doesn't think I jumped her. The last thing I want is for her to be scared of me again. Who am I kidding? She's always been scared of me. She would never have feelings for me as long as she sees me as some stupid fucking gang member. It's never gonna happen Lapis. I sigh and go on my phone, I see I have a missed message and to just try to get my mind off the negative thoughts.

Jasper: I'm not done with you bitch. I know you're still alive. When I find you, you'll get what you deserve.

     I feel like I was just punched in the chest, my heart felt like it was beating against my ribs. I felt like I couldn't breathe even though I was hyperventilating. I drop my phone to the ground nearly shattering the screen as I fall on the floor into a panic attack. She is coming for me, hunting me, like some sick game where I'm the animal. Before I realize it, I'm on the ground sobbing and trying to breathe.
Peridot's P.O.V
     I was running water on my face trying to cool it down when I suddenly heard Lapis scream. I dropped everything and run out of the bathroom in a panic. When I reach the living room I see her on the ground mid panic attack. I don't even think before I slide onto my knees and pull her into my lap and hold her close to my chest, my arms tightly around her. I know that normally you're not supposed to do that to someone having a panic attack but I didn't know what else to do. "Lapis it's okay, I'm here!" I say trying to grab her attention as I gently run my fingers through her hair. I feel her grip my shirt tighten as she sobs into my chest. As I try to comfort her I look and see her phone on the ground, Jasper's name on the screen. Without letting go of Lapis I pick the phone up and look at it. "Lapis she isn't gonna do shit to you, I promise. I won't let that happen." I calmly whisper into her ear. I'm not gonna lie, I was terrified of what Jasper was planning on doing. But I had to be brave, I had to be brave for Lapis. She looks up at me with a tear stained face. I've never seen her so scared before, it made my chest ache. I bring my hands up to wipe her tears away. She puts her hands on top of mine and sighs trying to calm herself down. "Peridot." She says softly through a couple sniffles, finally calmed down enough to speak at least. I give her a reassuring smile expecting her to say she was scared or something like that.
     "Are you scared of me?" She asks, opening her eyes and looking at me. Her eyes are puffy and bloodshot, I hated how upset she looked. "What? No of course not. You're so sweet and adorable and I could never be scared of you. What makes you think I'm scared of you?" I ask surprised. She doesn't say anything, she just looks down at the floor. I gently turn her gaze back to me, brushing my fingertips against the scar across her stomach with my other hand. "I never was afraid of you Lapis. I couldn't be. You were always so sweet and bright, so outgoing. I wanted an excuse to be angry at you for what you did, but I didn't have one. And that was on me for treating you like you were dangerous. I kept trying to justify my actions with you being a gang member, when honestly I was just nervous that a confident and strong girl like you would look down on someone like me. I tried to make you feel lesser to me and that's extremely shitty, and I'm sorry for that." Lapis smiles softly, before yanking me down by my shirt into a deep kiss. I was caught in a state of shock for a moment before closing my eyes and leaning in, moving my hand through Lapis' hair.
     It started out slow but got deeper as Lapis slowly moved fully onto my lap. Eventually like all humans do, we needed to breathe. Lapis pulls away just enough to breathe, but her lips were still barely touching mine. I look into her half-lidded ocean blue eyes, completely lost in them. "I don't care about that Peridot. I just wanna stay with you, I wanna be with you. I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone before." Lapis whispers gently against my lips sending chills down my spine. I couldn't seem to get any words out, I was just frozen in a state of shock. Lapis returns my feelings yet I'm struggling to say it. She has felt the same way this whole time and I didn't even notice because of my own ignorance. There were so many signs I chose to ignore. Dammit Peridot why do you have to be such a clod!? How stupid can you be?! I look to see Lapis staring at me, concerned that she still hasn't gotten a response to her feelings. I smile and hug her closer. "I love you too Lapis!" I say a little louder than I intended, causing me to cover my mouth in embarrassment. Lapis breaks into laughter with a cute little snort. "You're so adorable Peri." She says with a smile, now calmed down. She moves my hand from my mouth and leans in to give me another kiss. What are you doing to me? I think to myself.