'Nevermore Than A Few Words'

So, this is what it has come too.

Dear Family,

It's time.

Can't you see?

You're hurting me.

You've closed your eyes to my pain, but expect me to open mine to all of yours.

Many times I have cried.

But not once, have I been thanked for the time and effort, and heart I put in to make you guys happier.

I want to leave... I want to get out and see the world... Get a new life.

But...

I'm the bad guy, for leaving.

I wanted to leave from the beginning. But, I didn't

I wanted to be the kid who acted out.

But that spot was already filled

And I was left to clean up her messes.

I wanted to be the girl who was sensitive...

But instead I had to be strong for you guys...

And I settled for being the shoulder to cry on.

And that's what I became.

Without anyone actually caring what I had to say...

I was always the oldest, expected to be strong and take care of my sisters.

Who hated me, because I was mean, because I was becoming the mom...

Because my own mother... Didn't want to be anymore.

She was perfectly comfortable throwing me into that role...

Because she was too depressed to even cook most of the time.

I was the strongest, always expected to be tough.

Dad always wanted a son... And even though, I was the supposedly considered tough. I still didn't pass the bar...

But it didn't matter that, my own grades were slipping as long as I fed my sisters and helped them with their own homework

It didn't matter that my own mother didn't listen to my own problems, but would unload on me whenever she felt like it.

It didn't matter that I was already unhappy, because at least I brought a little more happiness and peace to my younger sisters whom I loved so much...

It didn't matter that nobody said thank you.

Or even acknowledged that I was trying...

And struggling...

Because I betrayed you, by wanting to leave.