Rooms on Fire

Eleventh.

'So Ms. Delahunty, tell me about yourself,' Jess says as exit the airport onto Lincoln Boulevard, having decided it would probably be a better run mid-morning than the 405.

'What did Stevie tell you about me?' I ask, biding my time. I don't feel comfortable talking about myself.

'She told me you don't like talking about yourself very much,' Jess responds with a warm, disarming smile, 'so is Kate just Kate or are you a Katherine or a Kathleen?'

'A Kathleen. I was born in Australia but my parents are Irish. My dad, Grahame is from Portadown, that is in Northern Ireland and my mum, Marie is from Waterford, where the crystal is made,' I tell Jess, 'we aren't really close with my extended family, my dad's family are protestant and they never forgave my dad for marrying a Catholic girl.'

'Really?' Jess asks, he sounds a little shocked.

'Yeah, its Ireland, this stuff matters. A lot more than it should. My dad's family refused to come to my Christening because I was being baptized into the Catholic faith. They sent a King James bible in the mail and my dad pretty much stopped speaking to them after that,' I say with a shrug.

'Do you have any siblings?' Jess asks, he has a way of asking questions that makes me feel comfortable but also like he might be trying to trip me up, like he wants me to reveal more than I should.

'One sister, Sara. She is a decade younger than me,' I reply, 'she is coming to visit me and Stevie over Christmas. She is a PhD candidate at Trinity College in Dublin so I don't get to see her that much.'

'What field is she in?' Jess asks and he seems genuinely curious. I'm not used to having people be interested in my life and generally speaking I prefer it that way but Jess is so warm and I begin to relax.

'She is in Irish Studies,' I respond, laughing at the cliché, 'her PhD is about representation of modern Irish society in film.'

Jess nods. 'What about you? Stephanie told me you are a journalist but what about your education?'

'I studied journalism and politics at Monash University in Melbourne. When I was studying I spent and exchange semester over here, at DePaul in Chicago and I knew then that I destined to live in the United States. I did my Masters in Journalism at Queensland University of Technology and then I moved here. I've been here for a decade now.'

'Always in LA?' Jess asks.

'Nope, first I was in Boston, then Chicago again, then Austin, Santa Fe and then LA. I've been here for just over three years,' I respond as we pull up at a light, I take the opportunity to take my hands of the wheel and stretch out my stiff hands.

'Stephanie told me about your diagnosis,' Jess says observing me, his voice concerned.

'I'm feeling pretty good today,' I assure him as the light turns green, 'my hands get achy if leave them in one position for too long.

'She told be about the baby too, Julia isn't it?' Jess asks.

'It is. Julia Stephanie. She is 10 weeks old now,' I respond grinning.

'Stephanie after my daughter?' Jess asks beaming.

'Don't ever tell her I said this but yes,' I say conspiratorially and it is the truth. Long before I had met Stevie I knew my daughter was going to be named Julia Stephanie. Julia is a name I have always loved and Stephanie for Stevie, because I wanted her to be named after someone strong and independent. Someone who was a fighter and a survivor. I couldn't think of anyone better to name her after.

'Julia's father is not involved in her life, is that right?' Jess asks and it is difficult to tell from the tone of his voice if he is disappointed or relived.

'He isn't. I already knew I was going to be raising her on my own when I met Stevie. Just so you know, I have a good job. It pays well and Julia and I would have been fine on our own, financially at least,' I tell Jess before he can ask what he is obviously thinking.

Jess looks at me and I can't tell what he is thinking, he is silent for a moment before he speaks again, 'so do you like sports?' he asks and I don't know whether to feel relieved that he has changed the subject or worried that in my anxiety I have planted the idea that I am a gold digger in his head.

'Sadly I am a Cubs tragic. I don't really care about basketball or football but if the Celtics make the playoffs or the Bears make the Superbowl I'll be watching.'

I turn on to Stevie's street with a sense of relief, 'here we are,' I say needlessly as I pull into the driveway.

I retrieve Jess' bags from the car and lead him inside, I can hear Stevie singing to Julia from the lounge room and I smile, my baby loves her music and lucky for her one of her mama's can sing.

'Good morning my sleepyheads,' I say as take a seat on the couch, 'how are my girls today?'

'Sore,' Stevie pouts, 'I think the baby is sitting on a nerve, my back keeps spasming.'

'Teedee, look at you!' Jess exclaims as he enters the room walking over to Stevie and giving her a hug careful not to crush her or Julia, who she is holding in her arms, 'you are glowing.'

Stevie blushes, then grins, 'thank you daddy,' she says kissing him on the cheek.

'Daddy, this is Julia. Our daughter,' Stevie says beaming proudly at our little girl. Jess looks at Julia for a moment and I can tell he is a little taken aback by the idea that Stevie thinks of Julia as hers, 'would you like to hold her?' Stevie asks, her voice tensing slightly as she frowns.

'Spasm?' I ask needlessly as Jess takes Julia and Stevie's hands go straight to her back, rubbing at the sore spot.

Stevie nods, her breath hitching and her frown deepening as the pain increases, it takes a minute or more for it to settle down enough for her to be able to talk again and I wonder if it is possible that she has a kidney stone, the pain seems too severe for compressed nerve. 'You are the first of Julia's grandparents to meet her,' Stevie tells Jess, 'Kate's parents are in Australia and they both work full-time so it hasn't been possible for them to drop everything and fly across an ocean. She seems to really like you,' I look down and sure enough Julia is drifting off to sleep in Jess' arms looking content.

'Why don't we all try and have a nap while we have the opportunity?' I ask, noticing Stevie yawning, 'I can show you how to use the TV if you aren't tired Jess,' I say reaching over for the remote.

'Do you have ESPN or TCM?' Jess asks.

'Both,' I respond.

'I'll take ESPN,' Jess says. I put the TV on the right station and gently lift a now sleeping Julia out of his arms, being careful not to wake her.

'Daddy if you want anything help yourself,' Stevie says, shifting her weight as she stands, clearly uncomfortable.

Stevie shuffles towards the stairs slowly, rubbing her back again, it is clear to me that she is in agony and trying to hide it, I'm getting more and more worried about her by the second and I am seriously considering leaving Julia with Jess and take her to the ER, just to be safe.

I am placing Julia in her crib when Stevie calls my name, high pitched and panicked from our ensuite, 'Kate, Kate,' I almost drop Julia in fear, before placing in her crib and running across the hall, Stevie is hanging on to the basin breathing heavily, there is a large puddle between her legs and it is obvious what has happened. Stevie turns to face me, her face pale, 'my water broke.'