Rooms on Fire

Ninth.

'Is that an elbow?' Stevie asks looking down at her stomach, she looks a little freaked out as the baby moves, their arm plainly visible under Stevie's skin.

'Looks like it,' I say with a smile as I sit on the bed to put my boots on. It is my first day back at work and I hate to leave Stevie alone, I hate to leave Julia but it is only for one day. My bosses at LA weekly have been incredibly accommodating of my illness and of Julia and have agreed that I can work from home four days a week for as long as I need to. All they require is that I come in on Mondays for the big weekly staff meeting where assignments are handed out.

'Ow, that hurt little one,' Stevie says to her bump as the baby's movements trigger a Braxton Hicks contraction.

'You gonna be okay?' I ask her with some concern as I stand. Stevie has been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a couple of weeks now and they are becoming more painful as she approaches the end of her pregnancy. She is 32 weeks along now and she is becoming more uncomfortable by the day. Her back, which wasn't in great shape before she became pregnant, spasms and aches. Her hips ache, her feet are swollen, she is finding eating hard and she is constantly exhausted no matter how much sleep she gets. Pregnancy was hard for me, it is hard for anyone but at 53, everything seems just that little bit harder for her.

'Julia, the baby and I will be just fine,' Stevie replies with a smile.

'Behave yourself little one,' I say placing my hand on Stevie's bump, I am greeted with a firm kick and Stevie flinches slightly as it sets off another Braxton Hicks contraction, her stomach tenses under my hand and Stevie's breathing changes in an attempt to cope with the discomfort. 'I love you my beautiful girl,' I say to Stevie as I give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

'I love you more,' Stevie replies with a smile as she relaxes back into the large pile of pillows she is propped up against.

'If you need anything, anything at all you call me okay?' I tell her as I gather my phone and my medications and throw them into my bag.

'Yes mommy,' Stevie says sarcastically.

'Just promise me you will call,' I reply.

'Okay, I promise,' Stevie replies with a sigh. she hates it when I treat her like an invalid but I can't help worrying about her health and the health of the baby. 53-year-olds aren't supposed to get pregnant. It is hard not to be concerned by every little thing. 'Now get out of here, you are going to be late on your first day back if you don't get moving.'

'I'm going, I'm going,' I reply, as I pick up my bag and my laptop and head out of the room.

---

I look at the clock, 2:15pm. Only two hours and 45 minutes and I can get home to my girls. It is too long. I called Stevie on my lunch break and she had assured me that she, Julia and the baby were all doing just fine and I believe her but I just want to be home. My hands hurt, my hips hurt, I have a headache. My breasts are aching and I know I need to pump but Joel, the editor of the entertainment section has told me he wants to see me in five minutes and pumping takes 20.

'Kate,' Joel says softly as he knocks on my doorframe, 'Kate were you asleep?'

I startle and blush, I must have closed my eyes for a minute and drifted off, 'No, no, just resting my eyes,' I tell him, it is a blatant lie and we both know it but he lets it slide.

'Let me just cut to the chase. Are you dating Stevie Nicks?' Joel asks and I immediately feel myself getting angry. My private life, and Stevie's for that matter are none of his business. I don't dignify Joel's question with a response.

'Is she pregnant?' he presses and I can feel my blood pressure rising as he looks at me, anticipating my response.

'How did you find out?' I ask, feeling both angry and resigned. Stevie didn't want anyone to know about the pregnancy until after the baby was born just in case something did go wrong. Just in case the baby didn't make it. Because if something did happen and she lost the baby shew knows having to talk about it for the rest of her life would break her. We have been so careful about going out in public. Pretty much the only place we have been in the last six weeks is the various doctors we see.

'A guy I know received a tip off from a receptionist at a doctor's office. He got pics,' Joel says handing me an envelope.

I open it and sure enough there are a number of grainy photos of me and Stevie together, we are kissing in some and in others I am touching her belly. They were taken in the front yard of her house and I feel violated. I am furious. My blouse suddenly feels wet and I look down to find my boobs are leaking. They tend to leak when I get emotional or when Stevie or Julia do and it is just one extra humiliation. My life is about to splashed all over the pages of whichever grubby news outlet is willing to pay the most to this asshole for his exclusive pics. I am angry that Stevie is going to have to go through this and scared that the stress will be too much for her and the baby. This is going to be harder for Stevie than it is for me. Stevie is going to have to endure the emotional toll of being outed on top of everything else. While Stevie is comfortable with her sexuality, she isn't out. Her parents don't know. Neither do most of her friends. Eight weeks is all we needed and then we could have told the world about us and the baby on our own terms, but no, some underpaid receptionist decided that a quick buck was more important than the safety of my girlfriend and our baby. Some pap decided that it was newsworthy and decided that our privacy was worth less than the money he could get for a few grainy pics.

'Your top is wet,' Joel points out needlessly and I want to hit him, punch him square in the jaw.

'My boobs leak milk when I am stressed you ass,' I say as I grab my breast pump and push past him.

'Kate, wait. I have a proposition for you,' Joel says as I race down the corridor.

'You have 30 seconds,' I tell him turning to face him.

'What if we buy the pics? We won't publish but in exchange you will write an article, a tell all, but it will be your words, and Stevie's. You get to control the story,' Joel says with a smarmy smirk.

'Can I talk it over with Stevie first?' I ask.

'I need your answer by tomorrow, that is as long as I can hold this guy off for' Joel replies.

'Fine.' I respond, resigned.

---

'Okay,' Stevie says as she looks at the photographs, 'are you okay with writing the story? I don't want you doing something you aren't comfortable with doing.'

'I'm fine with it if you are. I'm going to try and hold Joel off as long as possible, give you a chance to talk to whoever you need to talk to before this becomes public knowledge,' I say as I pick up the photographs and place them back in the envelope.

'Okay,' Stevie nods, 'I'll call my parents in the morning. I have no idea what I am going to tell them. I don't even know how to label myself. I know I'm not a lesbian and I'm not straight but beyond that I've never really thought about it. All I know is that I love you,' Stevie says leaning heavily against me, I can tell she is getting tired.

'I love you too,' I tell her kissing her lightly on the lips, 'lets go to bed.'

'Okay,' Stevie says standing and stifling a yawn, 'its going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.'