chapter x - "i can't tell if you're actually being serious."
one month later
I lay in bed scrolling through Instagram aimlessly until I see I picture of Noah. I feel tears forming but I force them back. I haven't seen Noah in a month and Chloe asked me to block his number. I turn off my phone and got out of bed. It was time to take matters into my own hands. I make the split-second decision to ask Justin to drive me to Noah's as soon as I get ready.
I take a quick shower and throw on my favorite jeans and one of Justin's old sweatshirts. I slide on my shoes, put on some mascara and grab my backpack.
When I open the door to Justin's room he isn't there. He doesn't have work until this afternoon, where is he?
I check the rest of the house, mostly focusing on the basement where he has all his gaming stuff and our one-room third floor that he turned into a hangout space. He is missing from both.
Suddenly, my phone rings from my back pocket. I pull it out expecting to see Chloe's name. Instead, it's a call from my mom. I tap the answer button and hold the phone up to my ear. "Hey mom, do you know where Justin is?" I ask. "I was hoping he could drive me somewhere."
I hear my mother start to cry. I haven't heard her cry in years. "Mama?" I ask, fear creeping into my voice. "What's going on?"
"Your dad is coming to pick you up sweetie, I have to go but he'll be there soon," Mom answers between sobs. She hangs up leaving me feeling worse than when the call started.
The only thought in my mind is that something happened. Something bad.
When my dad pulls up in the driveway I run to the car. I climb into the passenger seat and immediately ask, "What's going on?"
"Honey, your brother, he's been in an accident," my father starts but I don't hear what he says after. The sound of my thought grows to a crescendo and I can't hear anything else.
Justin. My big brother. He was the one who helped me learn math in second grade. He helped me win the science fair in sixth grade. He never complained when I asked him to drive me somewhere. He drove me to school dances without my parents knowing because he knew how much I wanted to go. He cared and loved and never asked for anything in return.
"Is he alive?" I ask my voice shaking.
"Yes, but he isn't doing well."
"He's strong. He'll make it," I say with fake confidence. Even I don't believe my own words.
7 hours later - 10:53 pm
I stroke Justin's hair, the steady beep of the heart monitor calming my nerves. He's going to be okay. Noah sits next to me, my head on his shoulder, our fingers locked together. I hear the door open behind me and I turn around to see Chloe.
"Hey," I say with a smile. I turn to Noah, "Can you leave us for a minute?"
"Yeah sure," Noah says before kissing my forehead and standing up.
Once Noah shuts the door Chloe makes her way over to me. She hugs me tight and sits next to me. She takes a deep breath and says, "I owe you an apology."
"For what?" I ask.
"For being a bitch."
"What?" I ask raising an eyebrow.
"I'm sorry for being so controlling. Telling you that you can't be with Noah just because he's my brother. I see how happy he makes you and how happy you can make him. I shouldn't try to get in the way of you guys being happy because I love you both and I care about you and if you're happy together then I'm happy with you being together."
"I accept your apology," I say before hugging her. "It feels a little weird to say this but I have to tell you," I pause and Chloe raises an eyebrow. "I think I love Noah."
"I can't tell if you're actually being serious."
I slap her arm playfully, "Yes I'm serious," I say with a laugh.
"Does Noah know?" she asks.
"Not yet."
"Tell him," she says softly, "If you really do love him and make him happy and he treats you right, then I support your relationship, 100%," Chloe assures with a smile. Then she stands up and pushes me towards the door. "Tell him," she says pushing me into the hall. I turn towards the visitor lobby but before I leave I turn back to Chloe.
"Thank you."
