Stan's POV
It's late. So very late. I'm on my second bottle of Jameson, but I feel Nothing. No satisfaction. Nothing. I don't feel let go, relaxed. I'm just sad. I get up and start writing, is it legible? I don't know, but I'll write. To him. Yes he has a boyfriend but... so what? It's not like he'll ever see this.
Dear Craig,
It has been mere seconds since I last thought of you, your beautiful ebony hair that I've only seen a few times, your golden honey eyes, the smile that barely shows up except in a smirk when you're giving somebody the middle finger. There's a lot about you that goes unappreciated There's a lot of things I wish I could say. A lot of things that you should know. Things that I can't say to you. I can't express how much I love you. How much it pains me to see you with someone else. Someone who doesn't treat you right. Someone who doesn't give you proper recognition. Someone who's using you for business and someone that he can claim as his own. I don't want you for that. I don't want you for publicity. I want you for the joy you bring to me in doing stupid shit. The joy you give me just by... being there. The involuntary smile you bring to my face just by being around. It's a different feeling when you're around... him. You don't give off that same energy. I want you to be mine... so badly... I want you to know that I'd risk my life for you. I'd let you in on everything. We can be happy together, just you and I, I promise.
Sincerely, Your Secret Admirer
I take the letter and fold it in half Putting his name on it and putting it in the box with the others. I take another sip and decide, tonight is the night. I take my bottle and the box and I go to his house, Putting the box at his doorstep and ringing the doorbell, before stumbling away, passing out in the street.
I wake up to a car honking, I get up and rub my head, I'm still somewhat drunk. My dad gets out of the car.
"Get in the fuckin car Stanley!" He yells, I do as he says. Too afraid to do otherwise. I get in the passenger seat.
"When your mom sent me out to look for you I didn't think I'd find you passed out in the middle of the fucking street! You have some explaining to do!" He yells
"Full disclosure... I'm fucking drunk..." I admit, getting into my bag and holding up the bottle of Jameson which is half empty.
He rolls his eyes "You irresponsible fuck." He pulls into our driveway.
"I'm more responsible than you are..." I get out, he hasn't completely stopped but I'm still getting out, I get out and immediately fall over. I use the door to get back to my feet and I shut the door, going inside and up to my room, falling onto my bed, and immediately falling asleep.
The next morning I get a text. I don't remember the contents of last night. So when I get a text from Craig, I'm pretty damn confused on what he's talking about.
Craig- Why are there a bunch of love letters on my doorstep? And why do only a few of them have your name?
Stan- I have no idea what you're talking about.
Craig- I'm coming over.
I don't have time to respond before there's a knock at my door. I get up, still in my pj's, which is just plaid pajama pants. I don't wear a shirt to sleep. When I open the door I see him with the boxes. He looks at my chest and his angry face turns to shock for a moment before he looks back at my eyes and gets angry, he storms up to my room and I follow. He slams the box of letters onto my bed and glares at me.
"What. The fuck." He looks like he wants to kick my ass, I look at the letters, I wrote these? I look back at Craig, who's glaring at me with his arms crossed.
"I... I don't remember writing these..." I say
"More than once you say my boyfriend is using me for better business." His face burns with anger.
"Well He is..." I rub the back of my head "It takes an idiot not to see it... you're always with him while he's at work, he's always a bit more attentive there as well... he's constantly on your lap or something. Do you even feel real love with him?" I'm not thinking before I speak, but there's something about him I like. I guess I did mean those letters.
"How the fuck could you say that?!" He yells
"Answer the question, Craig." I cross my arms and have a slight smirk
He looks down to think, then back at me "Shut up."
"You don't, do you?" I ask
"I... he's my boyfriend! Of course I do!" He's a bad liar.
"Craig... do you want to know what real love feels like?" I ask, stepping toward him and placing a hand on his cheek.
"I can't... I shouldn't..." He doesn't move away.
"Who's gonna tell? I'm just asking for one kiss." I caress his cheek, he leans into it a bit. Though it's hesitant.
"It doesn't leave this room?" He asks
"It stays right here, in the confines of this room." I answer, leaning in and putting my forehead against his, He purses his lips and closes his eyes, I close mine and passionately kiss him. What was supposed to be a kiss turned into a full on makeout session. Which ends as I'm on top of him on my bed. Once we part I give him a soft, yet loving smile. He turns red and shuts his eyes tightly, looking away. I take that as a cue to get off him. He sits up and covers his face.
"What's wrong?" I ask
"Why have I been missing out on so much?" He asks
I sigh "I don't know... Maybe you just didn't have the right guy" I give him a reassuring smile
"How do I know who's right for me?" He asks
"Look, I'm not a love expert. I don't know everything there is to know about it, all I can say is that, the right person for you is somewhere, it's someone you love and someone who gives you the love you want in return... someone who you want to be with as well as you wanting to be with whoever that may be." I look down, but I can feel his eyes on me.
"I don't know if I love him..." Craig says, after a few moments of silence.
"You don't have to love anyone." I shrug
"But... I do love someone..." he responds
"Are you sure they're the right person for you?" I ask
"I don't know, but I'm willing to take that chance" He leans over and kisses my cheek, standing up and walking out.
"Wait Craig-" he's already gone.
The next day at school, I stand at my locker, getting stuff from it.
"Hey Stannnnn..." I look behind me and see Wendy.
"What? I left you." I cross my arms
"Why? Don't you want another taste?" She puts her arms around me
"No. Just because you can't find another person doesn't mean you can come back to me. I don't want you. I'm in love with someone else." I glare at her
"Just one kiss?" She asks
"No." I push her away, but she comes back toward me.
"Come on... you know you can't resist me..." She winks and rubs her body against mine. I close my eyes, not strong enough to fight it, but I look in distress. A few moments later she's pushed away and someones guarding me.
"Stay off him!" I look to see who it is. It's Craig. I smile
"I'm allowed to do whatever I want! He's my boyfriend!" She exclaims
"No. He's mine!" Craig responds
"What the fuck. Craig!?" Tweek responds
"You don't fucking love me Tweek! You give me nothing!!!" Craig argues
"Move aside, Craig. Stan is mine." Wendy pushes Craig, who goes to argue with Tweek.
Wendy comes back to me "Come on... let's go somewhere where we can be alone." She pulls me along, I reach for Craig, who is too busy fighting with Tweek.
Wendy pushes me into the cissies bathroom and locks the door, getting on top of me.
"Let me go..." I squirm
"Oh come on... you need me... and I need you..." She whispers the last part in my ear.
"Please... no..." I try to get her off me, and I tear up, she gets up and rolls her eyes.
"God you're such a pussy. I wanted to please you." She rolls her eyes and leaves. I get up and start crying. Getting some paper towels to wipe them away, when I'm done I leave, looking over to where I was, Craig and Tweek are still fighting, I go over to try to help him out.
"I don't feel love with you!" Craig exclaims
"I need you! I love you! I promise!" Tweek responds
"Tweek... If he wants to break up, Just let him. There's so many other people, people who would be more than happy to be with you." I bud in.
"Fuck off Stan! This isn't your fight! I don't want to lose him!" Tweek is in tears, ready to hit me.
"So your plan is to convince him to stay? You're making him unhappy to get what you want?" I ask
"I- fine! I'm done. I'll get a new boyfriend. A better boyfriend." Tweek sniffles and walks away.
Craig hugs me "thank you!" I hug him back
"Thank you too, for getting Wendy off me." I smile
"New beginnings?" Craig asks
"What?" I respond
"Can we have a new beginning?" Craig asks "Can we create a life together?" He adds
"What kind of life do you want, with me?" I ask
"A love life." He answers
I smile "We can." I answer, rubbing his back
"Let's go... I don't want to be here anymore." Craig says, I smile and kiss his cheek, pulling back from the hug, and taking his hand. I lead him out of the school and back to my house. We go up to my room.
"What do you want to do?" I ask
"Um... Nintendo?" Craig suggests
"Sure!" I go over and turn on the Nintendo.
We play for a bit. He's better than I thought, which is great. Gives me a bit more competition than when I play with Kyle. Or anyone else. He yawns.
"You tired?" I ask
"Mhm..." Craig answers, Putting his head on my shoulder. I turn the game off and pick him up, Putting him on my bed and stretching, getting in on the other side.
"Do I get to cuddle with you?" Craig asks
"Of course." I answer, leaning closer to him and putting my arms around him, holding him securely. He nuzzles into my chest and sighs happily.
"I love you" Craig sighs out
"I love you too" I respond, kissing his forehead.
