Mr. Cold-hearted

Chapter 7: About my father

Now I need you to put your hands on my face, she said.
On her face? But why? I started to think that this situation was getting a little weird, but it was not inappropriate so I thought it would be okay.
I did what she said, my hands were cold and shaking, her cheeks were warm, it's weird but I felt like her heat was not her body heat it was more like a heart heat that I felt, it's hard to explain and maybe really weird, but I felt that way when I touched her face.
Her face had a beautiful pink color, I was getting nervous so she did the same thing with me.
- Don't be nervous, people might be looking at us but we are not doing anything inappropriate, just trying to establish a connection.
People was looking at us just like she said, I felt awkward but after some minutes I decided to just ignore them. They are lazy and stupid, they don't have anything to do, that's why they mess with other people's life and stuff.
I didn't say anything of those words but she noticed that I was getting angry.
- Oh, please, don't think like that.
- Think what?
- Don't think that way about people, they are just curious.
I didn't know what to do, could she hear my thoughts? I decided to just ignore it, at this point I started to think that she was magical.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
- Hate is not good for your heart. - She caressed my head.
- I know right, I'm sorry again. Mmmm... I was wondering if I could... I don't know... Do the same thing you are doing?
- What do you mean?
- I sighed - Okay, can I caress your hair? It's just... I... like it.
- Sure, don't worry at all, don't be ashamed, please, what you are asking for is really cute.
- I guess it is. Can I?
- Later, let's finish with this topic first.
- Okay, sorry.
I touched her face and closed my eyes. I felt my soul stimulated again.
This time the voice changed, it was a sad voice, but at the same time it was kind.
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning, thanks for helping me.
- Don't worry at all. Now I think we should figure stuff out quickly so you can caress her hair, she's dying for that too.
I didn't know what to say so I just said: Okay.
- Do you love your father?
- Yes, I do.
- Does he knows it?
- I guess he does.
- You guess?
- Yeah, we are not really affective but we love each other for sure.
- Okay. What's your father's job?
- He's a supreme judge.
- Woah. A supreme judge.
- Yes. - I smiled, I was actually proud of him.
- How old is he?
- He's 59 years old.
- He's not young but at the same time he's not old.
- Yes, I guess you're right.
- Does he suffer any illness?
- No, fortunately.
- Awesome! He's successful, rich, powerful, healthy and respected. You must be a really happy family!
I started to cry but in the inside, without tears, I didn't want the voice to see me crying. Then I realized everything, me, the voice, and the conversation was taking place in her awareness so I cried in front of the voice.
- What happens? Did I say something? I'm sorry.
- No, it's not your fault, it's mine.
- Why?
- Because my family is not happy because of me.
- No please don't say that.
I cried, my shield was getting destroyed.
- Do you love your father?
- Yes, but he doesn't let me love him and I don't let him love me.
- What do you study?
- I study law.
- And why?
God, that question just tear me down.
- Because my father wants me to study it.
- What did you want to study?
- I wanted to study political science.
- Okay. Does your father hugs you?
- No.
- Does he says he loves you?
- No.
- Does he says you are important?
- No.
- So, what does he do?
- He gives me money.
- And what else?
- He works for me, for my future and for my education.
- What else he does?
- Anything else. He works for me, I think it's enough, I have the life I have because of him.
- It's not enough and you know it.
- Okay, that's not enough.
- Does he carries a suitcase?
- Yes, he does.
- Okay, I think you already know what the suitcase represents right now. It represents your dad, because for you, your dad is just that, he's just a supreme judge, he's just a white-collar worker, he's just someone who works for you, someone who gives you money, someone who cares about your economy but not someone who actually supports you, he's not someone who actually knows you, he's not someone you can trust. He's just your economic  support and your legal protection.
I wanted to cry so badly but I controlled myself, which is bad, because my heart started to hurt.
- It's never too late, remember that, the voice said.
I woke up crying, the girl hugged me.
- What happened?
- I just keep discovering stuff.
- Don't feel bad, I'm here to support you.
- I'm sorry you have to put up with my crap.
- No, don't say that. I do what I do because I love to show my love for people, specially for the broken ones like you.
- Can I caress your hair now?
- Yes, you can.
I caressed her hair and I started to get calm.
- Take deep breaths, calm down, she said.
Her hair was bright, long, curly and brown, I loved it so much it was gorgeous at least in my opinion. My hands were in her hair, my fingers tips caressed her curls. I felt like I was in heaven, it felt silky and smooth, I didn't want it to end, but 3 minutes later I stopped, I didn't want her to think I was trying to conquer her or something like that.
- Continue doing that and I'm going to fall asleep again, she said.
- I'm sorry, it's just I can't... resist.
- It's alright, I loved it anyways.
- Okay.
- Are you going to sing again?
- Excuse me???
- It's just you sing every time you finish with one object so I was wondering if you were going to sing again.
- Oh, okay. No, I am not.
- Oh. - She seemed a little sad.
- Do you like my crappy voice?
- I love your cute voice.
- Okay, I will sing, but only because you are asking me for.
- YEAH! - She smiled.
- We'll do it all, everything, on our own... We don't need anything or anyone... If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lay with me and just forget the world?
Her eyes recovered the shine I killed three hours ago, my soul felt happy, my heart, sad and happy at the same time.
I finished singing Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.
- I loved it, she said.
Something inside me, really inside me wanted to reply: "and I love you".