The Eye of the Knife

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Feelings? Gross.

Christian had disappeared into the bathroom and I sat with my arms around my knees staring at the bedsheets. Did I just admit to my feelings for Christian to myself? I hugged my knees closer to myself and mentally groaned.

I never asked to feel like this about someone. Why is it that every time I see him my heart skips a beat? Why do I feel a smile come to life on my lips every time I look into those blue orbs? I groaned out loud as I felt the heat creep across my face. I liked Christian. Now the only question was..... Did he feel the same?

I heard the bathroom door open, and I dropped my arms and let my legs stretch out and quickly put on a poker face. I couldn't let Christian see that something was bothering me. That would lead to questions, questions that I didn't want asked nor did I want to answer. I hated it most when he wouldn't leave me alone with his nonstop questioning. Sometimes he sounds more like an interrogator than just a nosy person.

"Hey." he said as he entered the room. I looked up and saw one of the sexiest things I've seen in my life. Christian stood there in just a towel that was tucked into itself so that it stayed in place. The white cloth stood out against his lightly bronzed skin. His abs shown with the water that was running down them from his dripping hair. His whole body glittered as the water caught the light in just the right way.

I bit my lip and was rewarded with a smirk light up his features. I rolled my eyes as he ran a hand through his wet locks, knowing that he did it just for my benefit.

"So... Um... What are we going to do today?" He asked after I had looked away from him and busied myself with fixing the sheets of the bed.

"I was thinking a work out. More training. This is... if your up to it." I looked over at him and flashed a wicked grin. He was going to get it now for making me feel embarrassed and blushing more times in the last day than I had in my whole life.

His eyes widened and he gulped. "S-sure. That would be fine. I just... need to do some laundry to get some clothes to do that." I looked over at my suit case that was just for my dirty clothing and realized that I needed to do that too.

"Do you have any clothes today at all?" He nodded and left to return to the bathroom to get dressed I assume. I sighed knowing that most of the day we would be stuck in a nasty laundry mat. That's why I usually waited till the last minute to do the laundry. I hated the mats, and I hated having to find the quarters to work the cheap machines. Then there's the problem of them not getting exactly clean.

I groaned and packed up my bag and grabbed my special change case, that is filled to the brim with all kinds of coins for the laundry. I hated thinking about spending the day there, but with no house with my own washer and dryer, we had no other choice. Plus Christian booked a hotel that doesn't do it for you, what a shocker.

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Some time around 10 that evening we returned back to the hotel. Surprisingly enough Christian took me places while we were waiting on the laundry. Lunch and dinner were obviously included in there throughout the day, but I was not expecting the movie or wine tasting after we had finished it all. How he knew I would enjoy a wine tasting event was beyond me, but I liked it more that I expected too.

I thought back to how we had laughed along with the other couples at the winery. Of course the other couples were older than us by at least a decade, but I had fun nonetheless. Who knew?

I laid on the bed, curled up under the covers as the movie flickered on the TV. I couldn't tell anyone what it was about because I haven't been paying attention to it at all. Christian had picked it out at least half an hour ago, and ever since the title had passed on the screen, my mind was elsewhere.

I felt Christian stir behind me, bringing me out of my almost hour long day dream. I rolled onto my back and looked at him. His eyes were trained on the TV in slight amusement as he watched the comedy. I enjoyed the sparkle that lit up his eyes whenever he was happy or found something amusing.

Shit. I have it bad. I thought about what I just thought. His eyes lighting up whenever he gets happy? What the hell has happened to me? I have never thought about someone like this. I notice every little thing that he does, like the slight crinkle in his eyebrows when he gets confused.

And when he smiles? God his smile. I feel my heart swell with happiness every time that wonderful sight of white teeth is flashed at me. Every time he says the right thing, I feel myself growing slightly more comfortable with him and enjoying his presence more.

His blue eyes looked over at me in that moment. "Hey." He stated in a low husky voice. I felt my insides shutter in pure attraction.

"Hi." I said in response. He smiled at my shyness.

"Are you even watching this?" He asked motioning to the flickering box.

I shrugged. "Yeah......?" He raised an eyebrow but didn't say a word. Instead he turned his attention to the movie once again, leaving me to my thoughts and the room in silence except for the movie.

I curled up on my side again and was left to the thoughts of the day. A part of me wanted to deny the feelings that I knew I had. That part was the part that reminded me that I was best when I was alone. That I am not a social person and I don't do any sort of relationship or friendship. That was the selfish part that wanted me to remain alone and happy.

But then there's the part that wants to fully embrace the newly found feelings. This side is telling her to see what its like to experience these feelings and have a relationship for once. Maybe start to trust someone other than herself for once, just to see what its like. This part of her wanted to tell Christian and explore the unknown relationships with him.

Then the fear of rejection came into her mind. If I told him how I felt and he didn't fell the same how could I handle that? I've never had to deal with anything like that. Of course I've had the fare share of letting guys down... but never asking one out. Let alone dating anyone.

I smuggled my knees closer to myself and allowed the sleep to take over me. Of course I had pushed my back up against Christian's side before nodding off. He somehow had this protective aura around him.

He made me feel safe.

Something that I haven't felt since before my father died.