it was my fault

Chapter 6: but, why?

Gilbert's perspective

What a beautiful day, I thought to myself.
What a perfect morning for me to have my first day back to school, after months.

The road there made me feel nostalgic, I once used to take that way to go to school every single day, when my father was still alive. In all honesty, I missed walking that path, although the destination wasn't the most pleasant thing most of the time.

I approached the school building, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Immediately I felt everyone's eyes on me and my friends rushed to greet me.

Suddenly, I felt a heavy weight on my chest when I saw...

her.

She was... well, she wasn't looking at me, not one bit.

It felt like my whole world was shattered.

Like every single little thing in my life just.. fell off.

Yesterday, when Anne left my house it felt like everything in my life was completed,
like everything was settled down, everything was peaceful and in place.

But now, as I looked at her, my mind was blank, not being able to hear anyone who was trying to talk to me.

She was hugging, tightly, a tall guy with blonde hair. I couldn't recognize him so I guessed he was new. All my surroundings blurred when I saw them together like this.

My heart ached at that sight and it was when Anne looked at me that I realized I was staring.

"Gilbert! How are you doing bud?" Billy said while patting my back.

"Welcome back!" Charlie mouthed while pulling me into a hug.

"Thank you." I answered, but with the corner of my eye I was still watching Anne.

"Where were you all this time?"

"Where did you work?"

"What places did you see?"

"Alright, alright. Everyone settle down." Mr. Phillips announced and everyone sat at their seats. That was the first time I felt grateful that he was that strict with his students because everyone stopped paying attention to me, or at least talking to me. It's not that I didn't want to answer them or that I disliked my classmates or anything, but I was utterly shocked and couldn't concentrate.

"Welcome back."

"Thank you, sir. Where should I sit?"

"Moody, sit next to Billy Andrews so Gilbert can sit next to Charlie Sloane."

And with that, I was sitting back in my old seat.

Which meant that Anne was not too far away from me. She again wasn't looking at me. She seemed to look at everyone, but me.

But, why?

Did I say anything wrong yesterday? She didn't seem annoyed about anything I said.

Was I too... friendly? Open? Maybe she didn't like the tea.

Either way, she was avoiding me, avoiding even looking at my side of the classroom, not even trying to hide it.

I couldn't stop staring at her, wondering why she was acting like this, I thought we were friends. Well, maybe not.

I had to do something, and I knew it. I needed an explanation, and if she gave it to me, I would stop asking and correct myself if I did anything wrong.

Maybe it had nothing to do with me.

Maybe it was all about him.

Maybe she didn't want him to see us together.

Maybe he is so much more important than me, that she didn't wanna waste time away from him to talk to me.

Maybe he told her to not come and see me.

I had to know what's going on between them.

What if she liked him?

Only at the thought of Anne liking someone, I left absolutely terrible.

What I was feeling was probably jealousy, I have to admit it.

***

After a really long day of me trying to focus on the lesson but miserably failing, lunchtime arrived.

And there she was.

Talking with Diana and this particular guy from earlier, of course.

They were talking and laughing.

Completely ignoring my presence a few desks away, and the fact that I was alone and not outside with my friends.

From their little group, only Diana had greeted me today. Well, I know Anne and I saw each other the previous day, but she could have said at least a hello.

I couldn't just stay there silent, so when I got the chance, I stood up and grabbed Anne from her right wrist, making her stand up.

"Can we talk, please?"

"Alone." I continued, feeling bold but more worried than I have ever felt in my entire life at the same time.

Still holding her wrist, I pulled her on the side.

"Do you like him?" I asked. I officially had planned to bring him to the conversation a bit later, so it wouldn't sound too weird.
But when I saw them laughing together again, I knew I had to get my answers. So I got straight to the point, my eyes wide open, holding onto every word she was about to say.

"What? Who? Cole? Oh, but of course I like him! He's one of my best friends how could I not like him? He's very nice funny and-"

"No. Do you like him?" I asked, while lowing my grip to hold her right hand and also grabbing the other too.

***
A/N:
question: do you hate me yet?😂
I EXPLAIN LATER IN THE NOTE WHY I TOOK SO LONG.

you knEw that was coming I mean.. if you actually read chapter 5 you were aware of what was coming your way😂😂

why I took so long: this chapter was probs the hardest to write so far. why? because I've never had sUch a big crush to feel like that lol.
so, I had to do my little research and also try to put myself on his place.

I'm giving up if this has typos because I checked this chapter 528262 times

while researching, I found something really interesting I thought I would share😂
so: when someone has a heartbreak, (like an actual one not the rejection Gilbert feels here), it doesn't only cause mental stuff, but it physically damages your heart too.

you're welcome

-athina😂