The Heart Determines

Chapter 15 - The Pressure's on Me

I placed the fried fish next to the beans, time to mash the potatoes. I brought out a round bowl and thought about the guys. Sigh.... hopefully this will cheer him up......if not....I'LL RIP HIS HEART OUT!!!!!!!!! I thought as I nearly smashed the bowl. Ughhhhh........WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME? THEY'RE FREAKING PRESSURING ME TO DEATH!!!!!

I looked down at the over-mashed potatoes my anger has made; finally calming down, and suddenly adding my salty tears in it. I'm a mess. Two men I love that I can't live without. Only choosing one of them as my future husband, leaving the other in sorrow.

*DING DONG! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I awakened and realized that one of the contestants is back. I wipe up my tears and thought about happy thoughts. Cheer up Sabrina. Don't be upset. You want to be happy when you serve him dinner. I smiled and rushed to the door.

James was carrying four heavy bags and look relieved to see me.

"Thank goodness you were home, if not I'd had some trouble with these."

I studied the bags, realizing they were groceries and wedding stuff.

"Well, I have a surprise for you waiting inside."

"I can't wait to see it." he smiled.

I grinned. Seeing James so happy makes my heart warm again. I can't wait to see his reaction when he tastes his dinner.

"Ta da!!~"

"Wow Sabrina! You know me so well! I can't wait to take a bite!"

And as he did, he forced his face to holler "Wow!", devouring every little crumb, and wore an enthusiastic smile.

He moved on to the potatoes and studied the taste. Then he looked curiously at me.

"This tastes different..........more salty then usual......."

OH NO! HE TASTED MY TEARS!!!! -.- UGHHHHH................................*POUNDS HEAD ON TABLE* NOT LITERALLY

"...is it ..........bad?...."

"Uh.....it's okay....but make sure you put less salt next time......"

I looked down and murmured," If there is a next time."

"I'm sorry what did you say?"

"N-N-othing.......nothing at all.........."

"I'm not trying to pressure you or anything......but........ have you ..........decided?"

I forced my eyes to slightly glance down to the floor and replied softly," Not yet......"

He slapped his fork down on the table and left the room. Just like that.

I sat myself on the couch and was about ready to break down.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE DINNER MADE IT WORSE!!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING UNDECIDED BEFORE THE DUE DATE? I CAN STILL MAKE CHOICES YOU KNOW!!!!

I cupped my face with my delicate hands. Why do I cry so easily nowadays?! I'm an adult, one who makes wise decisions.......ughhh I hate that word! 

I continued being a cry baby and cried myself to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 This is it..............the day before the wedding.....not to mention...the revealment.....

Today.....I'm going to stay home. Really do some deep thinking and relaxing.