FOR LONDON [1: TOM HOLLAND]

CHAPTER EIGHT

iris
I've taken it upon myself to make this gc to discuss maria's stupidity

maria
wait
excuse me
what

jake
I'm down!!

iris
excellent
and look at that -- we're all here
so, without further ado, I'll move us onto the first and only matter of business up for discussion today:
maria giana franco is an idiot

maria
maria giana franco would like to object to this

iris
overruled, because anyone who talks about themselves in the third person doesn't deserve to have an opinion here today, or anywhere else, any other day

jake
can't argue with that
it's a fair judgement

maria
hey!
I thought you were gonna be on my side, traitor
I am HURT

jake
I am on your side!!
which is why I think it's super important that you realise the extent of your idiocy
it's for the best

maria
idk
I feel like you should endlessly agree with me instead and let me continue to make bad decisions and suffer as a result of them !! ((:

jake
hey now
good friends aren't here to be pliant and agreeable, we're here to tell you when you're being a dumbass so that you can, you know ,,,
not be a dumbass anymore!

iris
jake is surprisingly right
he's absolutely awful at articulating valid points well, but he is right

maria
iris are you ill
is this a crisis meeting
because you ?? agreeing with another human being ?? unheard of

iris
I said he was right
I never said I liked him in any way, shape, or form so we're good
all has not descended down the rabbit hole yet

jake
ouch

maria
did you expect anything else?

jake
no

iris
he knows me so well already
gross ://

maria
oh good
well, I'm glad we had this talk
go team!
and now, also, on the subject of things going
I must
goodbye

jake
oh no no no
nice try but get back in here

maria
but wHY

iris
honestly?

maria
yeah

iris
because I'm concerned that someone is going to file a noise complaint against us due to all your crying and complaining, and I like living in this apartment
it's cheap, like me, and I don't want to be forced to leave
especially not over something as ridiculous as a boy, of all things

maria
you can say you care about me if you want to
it won't hurt you, I promise!

iris
it would hurt my pride and my reputation, maria

maria
one day I'll get you to admit it

iris
I would never be so weak
not even on my death bed

jake
alrighty
so anyway onto what we wanted to discuss

iris
ah yes!
maria